The Real World/Road Rules Casting Special
A word of warning: since we already know from various mainstream publications (like Entertainment Weekly and Newsweek) which cast members are on which shows, we discuss it openly. If you don't know and don't want to know until next week, stop reading right now.
Gather 'round, boys and girls. It's time to find out exactly who is going to be on The Real World and Road Rules in (what MTV never ceases to remind us) the tenth season. Oh, but there's a twist this year: Bunim-Murray took twenty-seven hand-picked finalists to the Korakia Bed & Breakfast in Palm Springs, for a week. At the end of the week, thirteen will be chosen to torture and entertain us this year.
Stee: Okay. So, here we are again. One year later. Just as bitter.
Kim: I just want to state at the outset that this was the dumbest casting special of all time.
Stee: I didn't think it was possible to think B/M were bigger tools, but apparently it is. Man, do they suck. The special was dumb but oddly entertaining. I mean, obviously they've had to ramp up to compete with Survivor and shit, and I think this was actually a pretty good idea. Naturally, B/M fucks everything up, but it was a good idea.
Kim: It did let the audience get a better idea about each potential cast member. Plus, as Popstars proved, people love auditions and finding out the winners and the losers.
Stee: And if B/M can attract anything, it's losers. Hey, do you think Eric Nies is going to be stalking the New York house this season?
Kim: Hee! "Please! Let me in! My manager stole all my money! I can get you on television! I know people at MTV...oh, wait."
Stee: Totally. He and Judd can write a new stupid cartoon book about dwindling B/M fame and how to keep it alive. I hate Judd. I hope Pam dumps his ass for a patient or something.
Kim: I still don't understand why she's with him. She seems so cool, and he never has been and never will be cool.
Stee: Fuck Judd.
As the finalists arrive, they are greeted by Melissa from The Real World New Orleans and hick Theo from Road Rules Maximum Blah Blah Bleh.
Stee: I saw Melissa doing her makeup in a car on Sunset the other day. I tried to get her attention, but she was working on her lipstick and I knew she'd be busy for the next forty-five minutes.
Kim: What would you have done if she had noticed you? Flashed her the MBTV gang sign?
Stee: Totally. I thought she did a fine job on this show, but man, Theo is holding onto a dream. Last I heard, he was making sandwiches for a living or something. He was so stiff when he had to introduce himself.
Kim: He barely talked, and when he did, it didn't make any sense. Much like the entire Road Rules season last year.
Stee: And they made him throw in "Maximum Velocity Tour." He was all embarrassed.
Kim: Yeah, he totally mumbled it. "I'm Theo from Road Rules Mmm hmmm frrmmr."
Stee: And he tried to throw in a few Theoisms, like "tragic trout," but like the fish in his backyard crick, no one was biting.