The Real World/Road Rules Casting Special
Rachel D. organizes a drag show beauty contest for the men. The women help the men get ready, and then serve as judges. Segun is asked to imitate a falling leaf, and for some reason they show it in slow motion. Dustin is pissed because he doesn't condone the drag show. Malik, Clint, and Steve are the finalists, and Steve wins. He gives a speech to the effect that his victory shows you don't need implants to win. Dustin is really, really pissed about the whole thing, and tells everyone that he doesn't endorse the product they are putting out there.
Kim: Rachel D. was, like, forty-two years old.
Stee: She looks like Crystal Bernard. Actually, I think it might have been Crystal Bernard. She was all saying that looks aren't important and that real strength comes from within, and then she showed everyone her titties.
Kim: And no scars! She was just trying to cheer Dustin up, Stee. You would've done the same thing.
Stee: I guess she was trying to cheer Dustin up after he got that terrible tattoo around his neck. Or because no one knows where North Dakota is. Or because he's named "Dustin." Which is funny because it's a verb.
Kim: Or because he wouldn't "endorse her product."
Stee: Dustin tried to kill Coral.
Kim: I thought she was overreacting, but it was kind of a dick move.
Stee: Dustin was just so scary when he was saying that he hates men in drag. The look on his face. Frightening. Scary like Ray Romano getting a million an episode.
Kim: He has a lot of unresolved anger issues. Dustin, not Ray Romano. Although maybe Ray Romano does, too.
Stee: I think Ray does. My cat hates me, by the way. She's staring at me all, "I know Road Rules is starting again. Please pack my bags." Dustin doesn't endorse gays but is fully behind drowning girls. I like how he brought photos of himself doing volunteer work. Like then we'll forget he's a scary hillbilly.
Kim: Dustin sucks. I love how racist people can be on the show, but homophobic people can't. Supporting your B/M racist theory.
Stee: Totally. Let's talk about Steve. He's poor. He grew up in a cardboard box. I wish he was raised in a pirate ship, because that's funny when you say it while holding your tongue.
Kim: I know so many people whose parents didn't have a crib at first, so they slept in a dresser drawer or whatever. So not a big deal. They made it out like he was homeless.
Stee: I love my notes on him. "Asian-ish. Poor. Lived in a box." I liked Steve. He's probably going to be pretty bland, but I like him.
Kim: And he won the beauty contest.
Stee: He did. His acceptance speech was pretty funny. Dustin wanted to kiss him. I would be worried Dustin is going to read this and kick my ass, but I don't think they have computers in North Dakota.
Kim: Fuck Dustin. I've made my feelings on men in drag as comedy well known, but I thought Steve was actually funny and a good sport.
Stee: You hate drag?
Kim: I just don't think that straight guys dressing up like women is funny in 2001. Like, drag as an art form? Fine. But man in woman's clothes does not automatically equal funny, and so many TV shows think that it does.
Stee: I hear you. [Taking off bra.]