Back in Kentucky. The Brennan family says their prayers and sits down for dinner. Jon wonders aloud whether he'll get the movie role he's up for. The entire family stares at him balefully, not sure how they ought to react to the possibility. You can tell that his little sister is wondering if Jon can introduce her to Tom Cruise. Jon reflects that he doesn't think he's ready to change over to the "California lifestyle," but he sort of suspects that he might want to one day, and that frightens him.

Cue Kentucky Montage. Fields. Church. Cowboy hats. Horsies! Kentucky sure is purty.

Goldie's Bar. The triumphant return of Jon Brennan. I'm blown away, y'all, by the reception Jon gets. We're talking standing ovation. Crying. Screaming. Religious experiences. I mean, I like Jon. And he's talented, if you like that sort of thing, and he can really work the hell out of the crowd, but...dude. He's not, like, Elvis. Jon voice-overs some deep-ass comment about feeling alone, even while he's surrounded by screaming fans. Oh, boo hoo. Life is hard when you're eighteen.

And so Jon leaves Kentucky. Everyone at the airport is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone. Many hugs and plenty of pictures and buckets of tears later, Jon gets on the place and leaves home, again. He's sad. I'm sad that this episode is all about Jon, because I don't enjoy making fun of him. It's too easy, and he's really so nice that it makes feel dirty and bad. On the other hand, I'm happy that Beth isn't in this episode at all, because every time she appears on screen, so many insults rush simultaneously to my brain that I'm scared I might have a stroke.

LAX is culture shock, Jon says. I think he's just sad not to have a fan club waiting at the gate. He hops in a cab and returns to the beach house. Because there is no action in this episode at all, the cab ride takes, like, thirty-five minutes. Finally, the cabbie drops him off and he kicks in the front gate and walks up to his room, all alone. He voice-overs that he reread the script on the plane, and decided that the movie is not for him. He doesn't just feel comfortable with the plot, what with the murdering and the angry, rebellious lovemaking. Later, Dom listens patiently while Jon explains that he can't do the movie just for the money -- that would be wrong! Dom simply doesn't believe that Jon can't be bought. He starts talking about all the things Jon could buy with the money he'd make as an actor, including a church with his name on it, which, by the way, is totally against the whole humility thing inherent in religion, but whatever. Jon makes a thoughtful face.