Real World
The Show About Nothing

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Jessica: C- | Grade It Now!
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Sweet Home, Kentucky

Jon calls the production company. According to the receptionist, Mike and Dan are "in a meeting." They'll call him back. That's so Hollywood-ese for "you didn't get the part, kid, go away." Of course, they don't call him back. Cue montage of the phone ringing endlessly. We get our first shot of Beth, who explains that Jon is bummed that he never heard from Mike and Dan, even if he didn't want the part, and then she leaves! Stay away!

While Jon sits by the phone, Aaron and Dom go surfing. I totally don't get this subplot. Is this, like, the Day in the Life of Aaron episode? Because nothing happens. If I want to watch someone go to class and then go to the beach, I'll just go back in time and visit myself in college. Anyway, Aaron doesn't think that Dom can surf, although Dom is positive that he can. Because he once went scuba diving. Once. And he looks good in a wetsuit, he says. Then he puts Aaron's wetsuit on backwards. Aaron laughs in his face. Dom chuckles good-naturedly. I've totally warmed to Dom. I love me some Dom! The boys hit the waves. Aaron does brilliantly. Dom wipes out every single time he tries to get on the board. Dudes, surfing is hard! Aaron is amused by Dom's failure. Dom wryly comments that he almost died out in the water, but he got to check out some "terrific" girls in bikinis, and that totally made up for his brush with death.

Beach House. Dan and Mike are so totally avoiding Jon's calls. Jon, it's over, babe. It's like when you call a girl after getting her number at a bar and she never calls you back. It's because she doesn't want to date you, but would rather not come out and say that. Don't take it personally. She's probably got issues. Anyway, Mike and Dan never call Jon back, ever. The part in the movie goes to a guy who totally looks like a porn star. Jon snits that doesn't care, because he didn't want the part anyway.

This episode, which was truly about nothing, ends with Jon staring, all melancholy, at the fish. He comments that coming to Los Angeles has been good for him. He's changed for the better! He says that he's determined to succeed in life, even if he's not sure how to do that. And thus ends the boringest episode ever.

Next week: I don't know. I didn't fast-forward to see. It's a mystery!

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Real World

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