Real World
Threesome!

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Threesome!

We open the long-awaited "Threesome!" episode with a clip show of interviews past: Flora says she likes sex. Mike says he likes sex "all the way around." Hee. Joe says he likes sex, "openness," and "nakedness." Eww. Cynthia says she's "not into showing [her] stuff. That's not being a lady, that's being a loose little floozy." And that is all you see of Cynthia in this very special "Threesome!" episode until her last line at the end. So jump to the last page for a funny line, but stay right here for some hot hot threesome action! Oh, sorry, I forgot I'm not a writer for some cheesy porn site...yet.

The roomies are sitting around talking about sex. Melissa asks Joe to describe his favorite sexual fantasy and he laughs it off. Didn't we already learn that he wants to be a porn star? Stupid editing. Cynthia takes the plunge and says she wants to go to Vegas with a million dollars, fly to Hawaii from there, and have "sex on the beach." With whom? Or does she mean the cocktail? Joe jumps in and says he wants to have sex on a jet plane at night, and then when the sun comes up, "jump out." I hope he plans to include parachutes in that fantasy. Or, not. Melissa has the most pedestrian sexual fantasy of all: a date which includes getting picked up on time; no corny music in the car; going to a restaurant and being the last people there; talking; and ordering dessert to go, with one fork. Snoozers. How is that sexual? She didn't even say "naked." Then Melissa offers her l'il sound bite about sex: "I need a lot of freedom and a really really really long leash." Got it. Long leash for Melissa.

Hank, Sarah's friend, has called Melissa. They gab. "You were in a really dirty dream I had," he says. She peruses the porn films he sent her. He assures her that they're "really dirty, your kind of pornos." Did I already relay my story of not being allowed to make the word "porno" in a Boggle game? It was a long time ago. I should just let it go. Sarah offers that "Hank and Melissa discovered that they had something in common, and that was talking dirty to each other on the phone." Get! OUT! Wow. And here I thought...oh, forget it. Hank suggests they have phone sex and Melissa demurely demurs, saying, "Some things are better left in your head." But hot threesomes are best done on camera -- we ALL know that.

The Goops sing, "Build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart!" and we land in the comedy club where Mike meets Melody, the hot waitress. She comes over to deliver a drink, bends over, and puts her boobs right in Mike's face. He says he wants her to do that each time she comes back. It's very subtle what's happening here. Can you follow? They make plans for her to come over when she gets off...work. Heh.

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Real World

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