Real World
Time Out!

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Time Out!

Previously, on the Real World: Elton tells Kelley that as the producer of their lame-ass television show, she is responsible for the whole thing. David is going to be the musical director for the television show. Hey! I don't remember ever seeing those clips before. What's up with that? Either my memory is really failing, or they are manipulating the footage to better fit this week's storylines, but I'd be hard-pressed to tell you which it is. Matt looks at a picture in Melissa's room, and she explains that it is of Ryan, a guy she was dating in Tampa before she left. Melissa tells us she is unfortunately attracted to Jamie. Have they covered that yet? Oh yes, that happened last week. Thank God for Ace, who did a magnificent job recapping that terrible, terrible episode. Anyway, on to this week's episode.

It's daytime at Belfort. We start off with Julie, wearing her red wig from the "drag queen" show (which featured no discernible drag queens, thus the quotation marks). She's in a confessional, telling us that everyone was bored, so they decided to go to a bar. This is what she discusses in the confessional? That's the best she could come up with? Anyway, Melissa, Danny, and Kelley are standing out on the front porch, and it looks like Melissa is smoking. That's interesting, because there has been some discussion on the forums about how no one smokes this season, or at least they don't show it. The three of them decide to go to the bar where David works. David has a job? At a bar? Seriously, did I fall asleep and miss half the season or what? Suddenly, Julie comes into frame, still wearing the red wig and riding a skateboard. The fuck? She passes out of frame and we hear what the captioning identifies as "breaking glass." Then the skateboard rolls back into the frame, without Julie. Then Julie walks over to the rest of the group. Meanwhile, not one of them looked up, or even noticed that Julie apparently broke something not two feet away from them. How strange.

Then they are all at the bar, which is called Hyde Park Corner. I'm faithfully transcribing these details because I'm sure someone will want to go to New Orleans someday and visit all the hot spots, as detailed in this season. Or not. It gives me something to do while I'm trying to ignore things like David, behind the bar, in a tank top, and thinking about how unsanitary that is, and wondering if the Department of Health could cite him. I know when I worked in food service, both men and women had to wear shirts with sleeves, because really, who wants a bare armpit hovering over their drink? Plus, I think I have made my views on men and tank tops well known, but if you're unfamiliar, suffice to say that I find it unacceptable outside of the gym or the bedroom, and even that is pushing it. So anyway, David offers Julie a cranberry juice or a water, because I think Julie blackmailed the producers and said that she would do every talk show and interview and praise B/M to high heaven if they would be sure to show her parents that even though she went to the bar, she did not drink any alcohol. David explains, in an interview, that he has never bartended before, but it's good experience (for what?) and that he thinks it's weird to be a bartender who doesn't drink. Yeah, because I usually like my bartenders to be nice and liquored up so they are sure to give me the wrong drink or incorrect change. David says he got a job so that he could send money home to his mom, because he realizes that just because he left doesn't mean that her problems went away. Then, incredibly, the producers just let that statement hang in the breeze with no follow-up. Like, what kind of problems does she have? Financial? Other? But this episode isn't meant to make you have any sympathy for David, so we move on to...

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