Real World

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | 505 USERS: C+
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Back at the house, Janelle bitches about John asking for help at the last minute, when she has to get her costume done. Not wanting to "jeopardize" her costume, she decides to stay home and not go help with the float.

Day. Floats. Floats. Floats. It's 4:30 PM, and Bossman Ricky Croft calls Zach to ask him and Jose to come help. Zach bitches to us that he knew John's working on the float meant that everything was going to be left to the last minute. For some reason, Zach is wearing heavy eyeliner. Yeah, okay.

Float fixing. Float fixing. Sawing. Putting in fake plants. John worries and wonders and says and it's too much work. "Barb," John's friend, shows up to help. Working. Working. Working. Exciting! Wait, just checking. This is the last episode, right?

6:00 PM. Jose and Zach walk, dressed as nerds. Zach tells us that the theme of the FF this year is "Freaks, Geeks, and Goddesses." They walk and do terrible, embarrassing nerd banter. I have to look away. I'm not kidding. I really do.

Key West. House. House. Svet and Tyler and Paula and Janelle get ready. They're all rushing to get downtown and onto the float within minutes.

Meanwhile, the nerds (Zach and Jose) show up at the float area and start helping. John bitches that the other four have had all day to get ready but instead they're at home screwing around, and now the float is leaving the staging area, those four absent.

Those four leave the house, late. They walk, not knowing where the float is and knowing the others are probably mad.

At the float, Zach calms John down and tells him that the float is great and his work is done and he should now relax and enjoy.

The four run. Svet's boobs almost fall out. More running.

I take a nap. Dream of a life of freedom and happiness. Wake up to more of this nonsense to recap. And they haven't even started packing to leave yet!

At 7 PM, the four stragglers find the float. God, Svet's and Janelle's boobs are all falling out for real. Gravity rules. John is pissed but decides just to enjoy the parade and "keep it in."

Parade montage! The kids ride the float and throw beads and shoot confetti shooters and scream. Crowd. Cheering. The float. Svet's boobs. Tyler shimmies. Zach makes a "nerd" face, but it's more like "angry lemur." Zach camera-talks that FF is loud and crowded and awesome. The kids demand to see boobies before throwing beads. Float. Float. Throwing. Laughing. Float. Crowd. You get the picture. John says nonsense about this proving Mystic Tan is a real business and has really made a "footprint" in this town. Um, just a question. Have we seen one customer in that fucking place since the "Grand" Opening? I didn't think so. Nice "footprint," tiny Chinese woman with bound feet.

Real World

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