Real World
Time To Say Goodbye

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Wow, what a Bossman Ricky Croft-heavy episode. There is a weird montage of the kids' (replaced, post-flood) red MERCURY MILAN! driving for absolutely no reason other than commercial tie-in contracts, because now John and Bossman Ricky Croft and Tyler are painting their float somewhere near the house. Tyler is doing little fey leaps to try to paint the top, and paint is flying everywhere. John camera-frats that Tyler works for ten minutes and then gets distracted, so Bossman Ricky Croft has been instrumental in picking up the slack, since no one else is helping. Bossman Ricky Croft is only helping you, John, because he has zero friends and absolutely nothing to do. Haven't you figured that out by now? Smart ball-punching guy like you. Bossman Ricky Croft throws glitter onto the wet paint, causing John to say that Bossman Ricky Croft puts Tyler's glitter-throwing to shame. Horrible robot music plays.

Inside. House. Night. The "girls" get ready in the bathroom. Janelle puts on Tyler's makeup. (See, she's pursuing her goals already!) Too bad she's doing a suck-ass job. Tyler says it's funny how it worked out -- that FF has been postponed to right before they're leaving! Janelle looks at Tyler's makeup and says, "I'm going back into law." No, she actually says something more accurate: "You look so gay." She giggles. Tyler camera-queens that he's entering some strip contest that night at a club, in drag. We see him in a dress and giant joke afro.

The other kids put on togas, going to a toga party that night. Janelle's entire back is exposed. Dumb as a bag of rocks, that girl, but kinda hot.

Street. It's a madhouse. Then we're in a club and John enters a strip contest himself, showing his pixilated ass on stage. The roommates cheer and go nuts and John wins $200. Zach is conspicuously not dressed in a toga. Maybe it's against his religion?

Afterward, on the street, Jose is trying to get everyone to go to the gay club to support Tyler in his strip contest, but John and crew are drunk and John yells that he doesn't want to go to the gay club in the middle of this insane all-downtown party, so they don't. Jose grouses that no one will support Tyler, and he goes to the gay club himself. I ain't saying nothing, but Jose sure doesn't seem to need Mapquest to get to the gay club, if you know what I'm not sayin'. Why would anyone go support Tyler, anyway? Reap, sow, motherfucker.

Gay club. Tyler comes out in his dress and afro and dances around and then starts just doing high kicks with this stupid empty plastic smile on his face. Then he strips to his underwear and his afro keeps falling off and then he resorts back to high kicks and the experience is a lot like watching a senile Martha Raye thinking she's back on a USO tour. But then The Best Thing That Has Ever Happened happens. Tyler does one high kick too many...and falls off the stage. And with that one moment, the entire season has been rendered worth it. Thank you. Commercials.

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Real World




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