The four run. Svet's boobs almost fall out. More running.
I take a nap. Dream of a life of freedom and happiness. Wake up to more of this nonsense to recap. And they haven't even started packing to leave yet!
At 7 PM, the four stragglers find the float. God, Svet's and Janelle's boobs are all falling out for real. Gravity rules. John is pissed but decides just to enjoy the parade and "keep it in."
Parade montage! The kids ride the float and throw beads and shoot confetti shooters and scream. Crowd. Cheering. The float. Svet's boobs. Tyler shimmies. Zach makes a "nerd" face, but it's more like "angry lemur." Zach camera-talks that FF is loud and crowded and awesome. The kids demand to see boobies before throwing beads. Float. Float. Throwing. Laughing. Float. Crowd. You get the picture. John says nonsense about this proving Mystic Tan is a real business and has really made a "footprint" in this town. Um, just a question. Have we seen one customer in that fucking place since the "Grand" Opening? I didn't think so. Nice "footprint," tiny Chinese woman with bound feet.
Day after. Garbage on main street. A bulldozer cleans up. Someone rides a bike.
House. Sad plinky piano music plays as the kids start packing. John is sad to leave Mystic Tan. Yeah, only because he has his own little corner where he can nap.
Salon. The kids sit around as Bossman Ricky Croft lies to them that they did a good job and did it on their own. Now begins the excuse-making. Bossman Ricky Croft says that no business could possibly be successful with two hurricanes coming through, and moreover that the business is dependent on tourism and that took a giant hit. Well, or perhaps a business model where you are dependent on tourism is not a great one. Or perhaps again, locals should be the ones who would really want a quick tan, not tourists who are probably going to spend all their time on the beach anyway, so the argument is flawed. Either way, they failed. Bossman Ricky Croft chokes up as he tells them all some bullshit about how they can all be successful in life. Tyler listens with that fucking face that I won't miss one iota. He camera-talks that he's sure he'll be talking to Bossman Ricky Croft in the future because he admires him and also counts him as a friend. Well, that makes one of you.
Bossman Ricky Croft goes on to get to the payment part of the evening. He asks the kids how much money Mystic Tan has in its bank. They have about a thousand dollars. Wow! That's a fucking failed business right there. Good job, guys! It's kind of impressive to fail that utterly. Bossman Ricky Croft says that he was so upset to learn that number, that he called Corporate and told them he needed a bunch of money to give to seven people who stood by the brand. Bossman Ricky Croft reveals he is giving them collectively $35,000. The kids are cued to scream and act happy. They "mob" Bossman Ricky Croft. They chant "Mystic Tan on demand." Eh. Zach camera-fros that this makes working there all this time for so little money worth it. The kids walk out for the last time. Paula and Jose give sad looks. Jose babbles about it being a shame that it's all going away. That is exactly the opposite way that I feel about this show. Commercials.