Real World

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | 477 USERS: B-
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Brokeback Hot Tub
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously...Svet kissed her terrible Russian mafia boyfriend Martin at the airport. She lied that she would miss him. Tyler displayed his gayness to Svet upon their first encounter. (And no, not by not immediately wanting to play with her boobs, as she assumed everyone wanted to do.) Tyler thought he would hook up in Key West. He and John fought in the pool about going to gay bars versus straight bars.

Opening credits! Beaches! Planes! Morons! Asses! Moles! Words!

Bridge. Water. Boat. Lighthouse. Sunset. Sunset. Fisherman at sunset. Bad sound effect of a fisherman casting his line. House. Pool. Tyler and Svet. Tyler asks Svet whether she thinks homosexuality is nature or nurture. Wow, way to read some rudimentary creative writing books and drop us into the middle of the scene, B/M. Fine work. Svet thinks that it's nature. She then camera-boobs that she's a biology student and has studied homosexuality a lot. Yeah, so has Tyler. But I think he's studied in more of a laboratory setting than you. Svet tells Tyler that his penis goes up when he sees a guy, just like Martin's "penis goes up" when he sees her. I think Martin's penis probably goes up more readily when he sees a nice bowl of borscht and discovers his capos have successfully collected all the numbers money from the local bodegas in his territory. Or, perhaps, his penis goes up when Svet shuts the fuck up for once. (From this shot, I can tell B/M's penis goes up when it gets all the product placement money from PEPSI! They would have us believe that Svet just happens to be drinking both a Diet Pepsi and a Cherry Pepsi at one time. Subtle as always, folks.) Tyler tells us that he comes from an evangelical family and so being gay was difficult. Tyler talks in praise of being gay. Well, I must say it certainly would be nice to have some clue how to use lighting and color accents to tie my dining and living rooms together.

Airplane. Homemade distance signs, à la M*A*S*H*. Boat. Parasailing. House. Deck. Tyler paints to keep himself busy. His painting is a hysterical pink thing with a big Asian character written in the middle. It looks like Jeff Bridges's canvases from Fearless dressed up for Chinese New Year. (Take that obscure reference, Dennis Miller!) Janelle poses, and she alerts Tyler that he has a phone call. More suspiciously-placed Pepsi cans.

Real World