Hanging in Orlando, Zach and John tease Svet for embellishing to Martin about the danger she was in during Hurricane Wilma. The kids return to Key West to discover that their house is mostly fine. Tyler and crew continue talking shit about Svet. They arrive at the tanning salon to discover that it flooded during the hurricane. So they go out drinking in costumes that night. Meanwhile, Keith, indeed, does come to visit. Paula thinks that Keith had to beat her ass to realize he'll never beat her ass again. (Yeah. Really.) Keith confronts Tyler and during their talk, he sort of blames his ass-whoopings on Paula's behavior. Sometimes Keith just has to choke a bitch. Svet reads the burn book about her. Tyler then overhears Svet getting upset about the book to her mom on the phone and he freaks out and yells at Svet's mom and then writes a vicious little note to Svet. Zach confronts Tyler, and Tyler defends himself in a pretty disgusting display of hubris. Bossman Ricky Croft informs the kids that Mystic Tan in Key West has been a failure and that they're shutting down. The kids act surprised.
Previously: Tyler made a burn book to vent about Svet. He considered himself an expert in burn books. Tyler acknowledged that if Svet found out about the book, she would be mad. Wilma! The hurricane battered the hotel, forcing the kids to evacuate in the middle of the night. Svet was scared of the standing water. Abusive Keith arrived; Tyler thought their relationship was unhealthy and didn't like his visiting. Zach quoted Metallica, saying they're now "vagabonds." Call them what you will.
Credits. Zach tries fishing for his gefilte. Jose enjoys carrying a large pole. Janelle fugs. Melanoma.
Streetlights. Storm. Trees. Cars. Fucked-up hotel. John overstates that the hurricane "wiped out" Fort Lauderdale, so the kids were forced to evacuate even further north to Orlando. Orlando! Ooh, maybe they can form a boy band and be discovered. Or do a crap Saturday-morning syndicated high-school sitcom. Or make some porn. In a hotel room, Zach camera-fros that they don't know the extent of the damage back in Key West, but that they've heard rumors of widespread flooding. The kids wake up. Zach tells John about Svet's phone call to Martin earlier that morning. Svet called Martin and talked about almost "dying" evacuating the hotel, and that she couldn't believe Martin wasn't more scared for her; Svet yells from the other room, "Stop making fun of me!" Zach continues the story, good-naturedly. Svet whines that she was scared and she did think she was going to die. John laughs. John goes on to camera-frat that Svet does say crazy stuff, including asking if the Everglades is a mall, and claiming that her cat can say, "Hello, Svetlana."
Packing to go. Packing to go. Zach reads a paper. John informs us that power is back on in the Keys, so they're going home.
Driving. Driving. Bridge. FORD! Zach tells us thatit's scary not knowing what they're going to find at home. Driving. Tyler and Janelle laugh and marvel about how fucked up people's front yards are. John tells us that there was a ten-foot wave surge, and some roofs on their street were taken off. They're nervous as they drive up to discover their front fence lying on the ground.
Inside, they find wet spots -- much like Zach's bed after Crystal has visited! But the water didn't come into the first floor, so they're lucky to find no water damage. But outside, they find their pool is black with sludge. John pretends to throw Jose into the muck. Do it!