Real World

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Alex Richmond: D | 358 USERS: C+
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We Come to Dump Cesar, Not to Praise Him

So, three roomies (Mike, Joe, and Cynthia) set out to pound the pavement and see what business Miami "needs." I'm not going to get into the semantics of the word "need," but NOTHING they've suggested is really necessary. They're not trying to save the world, and there's nothing wrong with just trying to open a business and make some cash -- so let's drop all this "need" shit right now.

A montage of business-hunting-slash-voice-over progresses. Cyn asks, "A beauty parlor?" and "A smoke shop," while Mike suggests "Ice-cream parlor" and "What about a hip art-type store?" Oh boy. Joe thinks of a "computer fix-it shop," and then they all have a fight because Mike is tired of walking and wants to go back to the car. Joe and Cyn yell at him, but he stomps off anyway. Then, once they're all in the car, Cyn and Mike lean on their elbows and intone at each other, "I see your frustration but this is the way to has to be." "I didn't know it would be like this." "No one did." Hard, you mean? Well, too bad for you guys with the free-business-to-start-up, I feel so badly for you. Not.

Melissa's mom makes all the roomies Cuban food. Yummy! I'm jealous of them! Then we learn that Melissa's mom doesn't want her to break up with Cesar. Oh, moms. Then Melissa drops a little science on us: "Latin men are very possessive, almost like your father." Then she says she has lots of bad memories about her dad and that "that's a chapter in [her] life she wants to close." Yeeps! "Now, Cesar wants a lot." He leaves the house and calls out, "I love you!" Melissa gives him the half-assed, "You too!" Then she, Cyn, and Sarah sit around the pool and smoke ciggies. Cyn says, "It's hard to break up with someone if they haven't done something hella bad." Hee hee! Cesar is hella stupid, Cesar is hella lame, Cesar is hella dumb, hella hella hella! In a sit-down (oh man, Melissa has one of those extremely played-out leather motorcycle jackets. Hint: You are not a person who rides a motorcycle. Lose the stupid jacket), Melissa says she's one of those people that are more productive without a boyfriend. Okay, then be on your own, woman. You are strong. You are invincible. You know what I'm saying. Back at the gabfest, Melissa is crying about what a "great guy" Cesar is. Sarah says that's the problem. Cyn agrees: "Get someone to treat you bad, it'll be easy to break up with him!" Um, Cynthia, aren't you in love with some wretch that blows you off and stuff? And didn't you admit that even though your eyes are open, you're still involved with him? Well, then. Sarah says, "You're dating a nice guy, what are you thinking." Heh. Melissa cries some more, saying, "I'm such a wuss!" Or something.

Real World

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