Real World
Working Hard, or Hardly…oh, you know

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Working Hard, or Hardly...oh, you know

Sunrise. The snaky bassline of Folk Implosion's "Natural One" starts. Dan jumps on top of Sarah's bed, in which she still lies, trying to sleep. We get a breakfast montage -- someone's eating grapefruit, someone else fries up ham and eggs -- and then the phone rings. It's Landon, the business advisor! Cut to video of Joe so helpfully explaining Landon's role: "He's the man, the business advisor, the structure guy." Got it. Wait, here's Sarah with more: "With the help of Landon, we will start a business, and end up owning the business." Pretty sweet deal. Anyone else want to spell it out? Hold on, here's Joe again: "We have twelve weeks to achieve success if we want to get the $50,000." Okay, three months, we're all with you. The roomies gather around the speakerphone as Landon's voice booms out confidently, "I want to get together as soon as possible. What's a good time?" The roomies just stand there. Cut to video of Dan saying, "We're going to get together as soon as we can." His face contorts acrobatically as he adds, "I'm kind of nervous about it!" Don't worry, there's NOTHING to be nervous about. As in, NOTHING HAPPENS with the business.

Some Paul Westerberg-type guitar starts up as the cameras cruise through the already-messy house. Some people are just slobs, I guess. Sarah says very seriously to the camera, "The problem we're having right now is that everyone's hung up on money and are going out and getting jobs." It's true -- they live for free and will be given $50,000 when they think up an idea and start a business. Why bust your ass flipping burgers? FREE MONEY has been promised to you! But no, people are never that smart. If MTV offered them the cash on a silver platter they still wouldn't get it. Two non-candidates for Mensa, Melissa and Dan, talk about getting shit jobs. Dan "doesn't know if he wants to sell clothes." Melissa says that the painful part of the retail thing is "fixing everything." Oh man. FREE MONEY, people. Put your tiny heads together and you may never have to fold clothes again. Can you dig it? Melissa teases Dan saying he can just "bat" his "baby blues" at people to get any job he wants. Yeah, that's how the world works. Dan giggles and covers his face, shrieking, "I'm so embarrassed!" Sure he is.

The oh-so-stupid riff to "Just A Girl" starts up as Flora and Sarah lounge around. Flora's flatly reading the want ads out loud: "Spanish/English speaking waitresses wanted. Escorts wanted, elite private clients, $400 per day, adult -- aha! -- adult services." Then, to Sarah, "You know what THAT means." Sarah eats a cookie and looks blank. "What." Flora says in the stagiest voice ever, "You're serious." Sarah is. "You have to do. Adult. Services." Sarah waves her hand and asks, "Liiiike...?" Flora bursts out, "You have to [fuck] them!" and then giggles like a freak. No Doubt gets to the chorus part of "Just A Girl." Sarah says, "Flora is pretty much whacked-out, but there's a lot of stuff about her that I like. She's fun to watch, she's like a sitcom." Good for you -- may we at home see some fun, funny, or even likeable stuff? Maybe we're being cheated by just getting to see the brusque, hard-nosed Flora. Or maybe not.

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Real World

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