Real World
Would You Be So Kind as to Wave Your Hands in the Air?

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Would You Be So Kind as to Wave Your Hands in the Air?

So then they show us this B-roll of somewhere that looks like it's in the country in the middle of nowhere. Like, where the hell in London is this completely desolate river with all this foliage covering it and twinkling in the sunshine?. Oh, and in case you don't know when this is, the forgettable song playing in the background indicates that it's the "next day next day next day." We see the housemates, except Sharon and Neil, in bed trying to overcome their hangovers. Kat says in an interview that she'll never drink that much again. Later that day -- or another day entirely -- the housemates start teasing Mike about hooking up with Hannah the Horrified. "She was certainly out of here like a shot in the morning," Jacinda wryly observes, making me totally like her again. Neil pats Mike on the back and says something inaudible. He probably said, "Isn't it amazing how easy it is to get laid when you're on the telly?" At least, he should have. Mike denies that he had sex with Hannah. Jay contradicts Mike's version of events by telling the house that he woke up in the middle of the night to see a "big ole Snuffleupagus under the sheets." "Did you stay up and watch?" asks Mike, sounding a little too interested (if you know what I mean), and fiddling with his nipples under his surfer t-shirt, thus exposing his tummy to the camera. Michael? Just because someone did actually fool around with you doesn't mean that the world wants to see you naked...or that even Jay does, for that matter. Put it away! Later, Mike gets touchy feely with Kat again on the couch. Who slipped Kat a roofie? "Outward Bound cannot compare to the bonding we all did last night," says Lars, observing the coupling on the couch.

We return to the workaday world, as evidenced by the B-roll shots of various Londoners walking to work, morning rush-hour traffic, and Kat walking down the street wearing a big ole duffel coat and a somber facial expression. In an interview, Kat admits that she's lonely, and that it's hard to her to meet people and feel comfortable with them immediately. Oh, so that's why she's being Mike's love slave these days.: desperation. We see Kat entering one of the buildings of her college. "Somebody needs to get that girl a watch," says some invisible queeny guy's voice. Kat is late for an appointment with some suspiciously camera-friendly guy named Josh, who is her scene partner in a drama class. "He's from New York City," says a beaming Kat in an interview. "So he knows a lot of the same areas that I know." Remember Kat's friend who looks like Lori Petty on acid? Well she's the one who introduced them, and judging by the self-satisfied way she chomps on that apple as she sits at her receptionist's station, she feels pretty proud of herself for arranging that hook-up. Bunim-Murray probably gave her money. Next they show a series of rehearsals between Kat and Josh, in which Josh describes their scene as "pure sex" and quotes lines from it like, "Your body is a temple!" How convenient. Back at the house, Kat calls her mother for the seventeenth time that day and gushes about Josh. "He's asking me the questions that you ask people when you really want to know what's going on in their head," says Kat. But just when these shots of Kat and Josh feeding swans in the park make you think Kat is going to hook up or something, she pulls the plug. In a confessional, she announces that she's not ready to be in a serious relationship right now because she enjoys being single.

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Real World

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