Real World
Wren And Stumpy

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How The Wes Was Won

Austin. Don't Walk sign. Capital. Capital. Warehouse. Window. Bathroom. Danny and Mel. Wes wakes up. Mel and Danny tell Wes -- who is sleeping on the Big Round Bed Of Gay, for some reason -- that the Dorks of Docs called and told them that the kids have to come to a screening of some documentary that night, Friday, at 8. Wes camera-ghouls that there is no way he's going to "work" on a Friday night. ["If I have to, so does freaking Wes." -- Wing Chun]

Swimming pool. Mel, in the pool, stands between Danny's feet; he sits on the edge, clearly afraid to get his head wet lest too much water seep into his caved-in face. Wes bitches to the others that he can't believe the Dorks of Docs would invite them with such late notice. Neh announces that he's going because of his "future," but won't be mad if the others don't go. Neh says that the doc dorks want to introduce him to some people. He dead-faced camera-talks that the more people he meets in his "field," the easier it's going to be for him to get a job later. Mel makes a terribly racist (and anachronistic, decade-wise) comment about Neh actually being on Yo! MTV Raps. Well, clearly he won't be on that show for his rapping.

While a terrible nonsense song about a "film party" plays, the kids get dressed for the documentary screening. They get in cabs, leaving Wes and Danny alone. Neh camera-talks that it doesn't bother him that the boys aren't going, and that none of them have a future in feature films. Neither do you, buddy.

Austin Film Society. Head doc dork Paul talks to the housemates about their project and how they're going to have a "big screening" of it. Is it going to be at an Amtrak station? because I have the feeling it's going to be a train wreck. Neh camera-tools that this is an opportunity, and that he's going to be the one doing the rest of the terrible work on their terrible film.

The screening is for the great rock doc DIG! in the tiny little Austin Film Society trailer. They meet the director, Ondi Timoner. Neh camera-talks about Ondi's doc being about a pair of bands becoming rivals, and then says that Ondi's film and the kids' are "so similar." Sure, in that they both, you know, involved pointing cameras at things. Paul tells them that, after the screening, they'll go "next door" to talk about things. The screening takes place.

Meanwhile. Night. Austin. River. Dizzy Rooster. Wren is kind of all over Wes, his hand on her tiny ass. They make out. They laugh. In her horrible, squeaky voice, she says something about laughing because every time she tries to sneak a kiss (from either Wes or some other guy?), "he" kisses her. Then she says she doesn't even care. Wes says, "You don't even care? Let's go home and fuck right now, then." She acts all surprised and shocked and tells him not to say that. Then, smiling, she drawls that she can't believe Wes just said that. She says it's a bad word, and he asks what would she call it instead. I'd call it The Legend of Zorro -- you know, something I really don't want to see. He jokes that he'll change it to "making babies," and Wren says that she doesn't want to make babies. Good, because I don't think a fetus would find any nutrition inside that body. More drunk hanging out and dancing. In a terribly cut-up snatch (heh) of dialogue, Wes says that the combo of him and Wren not being sexual and her not opening up more about herself is causing him to get bored with her.

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