Real World
Wren And Stumpy

Episode Report Card
Stee: D | Grade It Now!
How The Wes Was Won

Bathroom. Vampy music plays. Johanna gets ready to go out. Wes is in the shower talking to her about times he's tried to kiss her. She says that most of the times he's tried and she's laughed, it's just been because the timing was inappropriate and that he was "fucked up." Wes says he hopes neither of them finds "groupies" tonight so that they can make out again. VOMIT! Johanna then camera-drunks that Wes is fun to flirt with -- that he's "uncomplicated." (Read: stupid.) They continue to talk about how they're both uncomplicated, and then he says that if she thinks it works now, she should see what happens after they have sex. That'll show how uncomplicated they are. She laughs, and then leaves immediately. Smart girl.

Their terrible bar where clearly they go because B/M pays their bar tab. Hell, under those circumstances, I'd go every night and get fucked up, too. Wren and Johanna fake hug. Wes talks with Wren. Johanna drinks. She asks Wes to dance on the completely empty dance floor. The roommates all watch as if something were going to happen. Then something does happen: Wes and Johanna start making out. Grody. Wren watches also, twin emotions of jealousy and oh so much hunger warring within her. More making out, Johanna now having been pushed up against a wall. Commercials.

Back. Night. Austin. City. Dance floor. Wes's saggy pants push up against Johanna. He grinds on her playfully, and she asks him if Wren is there at the bar. She camera-talks, looking like a sad puppy, that she knows Wren likes Wes a lot (don't think so) and that she doesn't want to be all over him in front of her (too late). Johanna walks away from Wes, clutching her heaving bosom and looking concerned. Then she immediately starts dancing. Heh.

Wes then goes up to claim the girl-jealous spoils of war. And indeed, Wren comes up and asks, "Where's your girlfriend?" She then laughs that she's just playing around. Wes camera-talks that making out with Johanna was totally to make Wren jealous...and we see them hanging out now and Wren's tongue is sticking out of her teeth like it does; she asks why Wes is just staring at her without saying anything, but she's smiling while she's saying it. Or the hunger is getting to be too much. Wilting. Wilting...Wes goes on to say that "it" worked. We see them walk away together down the street.

Next morning. Warehouse. Bathroom. Danny stands around as Wes showers. Danny asks if Wren was any good. Wes responds that she was "quite impressive," and then says something about "thirty seconds." Danny laughs. Wes camera-talks, extremely tastefully, that Wren took him back to her apartment and that they did "something" they've been waiting to do off-camera the entire time he's known her. Over an aerial shot of the warehouse, Danny jokes about Wes giving her the best "thirty-five seconds of her life." Wes laughs. I VomitWeep!

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Real World




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