Salon. Bossman Ricky Croft -- the man so inept at business that he supposedly invented Mystic Tan and yet could only wrangle himself Vice-President stripes -- rattles off a list of stuff they have yet to do. Zach goes silent when The Ricker asks him if they have their furniture shopping list ready. Uh...good job, Zach. You should give a managerial class at the Learning Annex. It doesn't pay well, but there are snacks! The kids argue a little about where to put their product racks. Zach waffles, and Svet camera-snakes that Zach is not a very good manager. She tells Zach that she needs to go to the bank and then yells at him when he asks if she's going for herself or for the business. John then camera-frats that they're heading to PIER 1! to buy furnishings, and that he's not going to go because he knows it's going to be a disaster. Hm, a guy not wanting to go to Pier 1? Who wouldn't want to go experience all its fine wicker stools and spray-painted knickknacks?
This show is so compelling that I just got sidetracked for fifteen minutes on John Tesh's website. Turns out he has a nationally syndicated radio show, and I had to go see what that shit was about. And then I read his relationship advice. Which wasn't all terrible. And then I found out he was on Star Trek: The Next Generation. So much I didn't know about that giant-headed Franken-Yanni.
PIER 1! Ugly crap. Ugly crap. The kids shop. Zach voice-overs that they can't decide on wicker vs. leather (oh, no question: wicker!), and aren't making any decisions about anything. Tyler camera-queens that their shopping trip is "as smooth as a C-section." I guess he would rather their trip was like being pulled from a vagina with forceps? (Not that he knows anything about vagina.) Zach drops a candle, and then tells us that Bossman Ricky Croft is getting fed up with their antics. I can't imagine why. Bossman Ricky Croft then steps in and delegates their different tasks. Tyler and Zach talk about "accent colors" ( I don't even know what that means), and then Tyler tells us that interior design is fun. We see them shopping. It's not fun. The kids finally get everything they need -- even though it took them four hours! Holy shit. Four hours in a Pier 1! Worse than death, people.