Real World
Zach Steps It Up

Episode Report Card
Stee: D | Grade It Now!
Pier 1 Suckports

House. Night. John tells the kids that they're not to come in tomorrow, saying that Svet changed everything, and now Bossman Ricky Croft has to fix it. Svet told Tyler that Bossman Ricky Croft wanted it changed, but John says that's not true, and that it was all Svet's idea. Tyler calls Svet a "lying bitch." Tyler camera-talks that Svet is a liar and manipulated them to get her own way. They ask John if it at least looks good. He says no. Tyler is going to yell at Svet.

Zach, Janelle, and Jose head down to the salon to pick up Svet and Paula, who are just finishing their redesign...but mostly so they can check out what the girls have done. With Paula working there, they now literally have a Skeleton Crew. They walk around silently inspecting, pulling faces. Zach camera-fros that the place looks like a wreck, and that they just put gold cushions on things, and that it looks terrible. It really does. Paula looks drained. Well, you would be too if you hadn't consumed anything but water and some tooth enamel that day. They leave.

FORD! Zach bitches to the girls that they should have called him and told him that Bossman Ricky Croft wanted more product visible, and that they were going to change things. He is the manager, after all. Yelling. Yelling. Svet calls Zach an asshole. This pisses Zach off. Svet bitches that she didn't even want to be there. Zach tells us that he's "hurt." WAH! Try having to view your boring-ass life. Sure, I'm lying in bed drinking coffee, but it's still fucking BORING! Do something! Rob a homeless person. Fuck a goat. Something! Gah! Commercials.

Night. House. Janelle and Zach tell Tyler how the girls changed everything and how Svet blamed it on Bossman Ricky Croft. Tyler hides the phone and the others laugh. He camera-queens that she won't be talking to her "Trotsky" boyfriend that night: Svet will have to come talk to them about what she's done.

Later. Paula asks Tyler not to yell at her. "Too. Weak. Need. Food. Before. Gay. Man. Snarks. At. Me." Svet heads to the phone room. She looks around. "Where's the phone?" she snots. Tyler tells her that he heard they worked really hard today. "Are you being sarcastic?" she whines. So clueless, that one. Tyler says, "Perhaps. That's for you to judge," and tells her to come talk to them. Tyler asks her about Ricky not being happy with the furniture, and Svet whines, all nasal and actually stamping her feet, at him not to talk to her like that. She goes on to ask again where the phone is. Tyler continues and then Zach butts in, saying that the bigger problem is that they're not all working well together. He says he doesn't need to "hark" on the issue. (Heh. I guess homeboy Heralds some Angels Singing.) Tyler tries to say that it's all Svet's fault and that Zach shouldn't use the term "we." Zach tries to use managerial diplomacy, but Tyler keep undermining it, wanting to focus on Svet sucking so bad. Svet is just listening, defeated. Zach -- his jewfro absolutely off the Torah today -- camera-talks that he's the manager and needs to "step up." Zach tells Svet that the boys all felt "undermind-ed." Nice. Paula has a massive headache, rubbing her sunken eye sockets. Tyler puts the stolen phone down in front of Svet and she rolls her eyes. Tyler says that he finds blaming Bossman Ricky Croft to be "rather convenient," and Svet finally comes alive, saying, "I'm not blaming Ricky. And you need to fucking, like, occupy your mind with something else, because I was there for twelve hours." Tyler says that she's playing the victim now and she says that she's not, but that he needs to back off her because he's the only one attacking her. Zach and Tyler both start bitching and talking at once and Svet is still talking, saying that hiding the phone wasn't "mature." (Heh.) Zach tells Tyler to leave. Tyler walks out, drinking water and preening back at Svet like Mick Jagger in that super-gay "Dancing In The Streets" video he did with David Bowie. Bruce Vilanch even thinks Tyler needs to tone it down a little here. Tyler camera-talks the obvious, saying that Svet can't get over that she's not manager, and that this attitude of hers is starting to negatively affect the group.

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Real World




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