Clark: "No orders, just suggestions..."
Tess: "Are you questioning my authority? I'm suddenly the captain of this ship."
Emilio: "Doc is the captain of this ship, even if he is dead."
Kurt: "I lead by example. I also tend to follow orders. I am German, I don't know if I mentioned that."
Tess: "Men are always fussing around with each other because they are weak-minded. I should be in charge, because I'm so very good under pressure. When I'm not being struck blind or pulled into haunted puddles by ghost fingers."

Lincoln: "I just want to help. I don't care who the leader is, this is just a temporary gig."
Clark: "You're afraid of stepping into his shoes?"

Tess: "...Capable of stepping into his father's shoes? That is the question this episode will be asking. Probably I am smothering or infantilizing."

See? What did I tell you? The usual oversimplified, silly-ass, Matthew Fox telegraphed nonsense. Oh, and here comes Bai Ling.

Lena: "I don't know that there needs to be a captain, we're all kind of a team. We all need the same things right now."
Clark: "No, I'm a plot device. Say something vaguely interesting and decisive that will come back in Act II."
Lena: "I can say probably you shouldn't be the captain."

At this point they literally play the guitar and have a singalong, so that Clark can cynically make fun of them on the other side of the boat -- still no idea who he's talking to -- and it's so fucking awful. Lincoln with a guitar on his knee is so insufferable it actually hurts to look at. And you thought Lena was the worst before? Stick an accordion in her hands and let her harmonize. That shit is more nightmarish than any stupid jungle ghost.

FINALLY

The young camera guy from the storied War of the Vines is hanging in a tree, looking dead... Or is he? That wiggling and woggling around tells us that there's more to the story. Maybe he's half-dead, maybe he's a zombie. What I'm guessing right this second is that he's just a corpse, and it's actually the vines animating the corpse, and the vines have a message for us, and that message is something along the lines of, "Why don't you idiotic pukes ever listen to Jahel? Just get the fuck out of the Boiuna. Things are real awful here."

BUT NO

Kurt shoots the vines with a flaregun and the corpse drops, and it's not a corpse. Somehow on sight Lincoln diagnoses him with malaria, dehydration, liver failure and a tipped uterus and I don't know what-all. Lincoln's expertise is a moving target. They plop him on that table in a galley and Lincoln yells doctor words forever and ever.