The River
The River

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 532 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Dry Spirit

Also: A large nut or clam covered in a blanket, a big personal altar with a black saint draped in gifts, etc., foodstuffs with the labels blurred out (nice), a ton of blood, and a fetid odor. What we do not find is, Dr. Emmet Cole. Or the thing making the noises.

Lincoln: "I better touch this bloody nut or clam."
El Féretro Del Niño: "I am actually a Brazilian Krahò invention for use as a child's coffin."
El Corpo Seco: "ARGH! Now I am free because you touched it! Screech! Bonk! Arnk!"
Lena: "That Smoke Monster just ripped the hell out of my leg! I am going to need stitches, and maybe a quick swim in the Amazon."

Random Emilio Moment: "My daughter Jahel, before she developed her dirty pillows and the stain of men's desire, she used to talk to ghosts. She had this one ghost friend, Amigo Fantasma!, who was a bit of a loud-talker. Long story short, I told that dude to quiet down, and he did. Isn't that an interesting story? My daughter talks to ghosts. Also, I come off like a total pedophile even in the little stories I tell."
ibid., verbatim: "No me gusta este amigo fantasma."

Lincoln: "Lena, let me use my medical information on you. AJ, obey my orders!"
AJ: "I am a British black guy that hasn't come up much yet in this episode. I'm the lead cameraman and, as a documentarian, I'm not one to drop my camera and help when there are literally a dozen other people not filming this that could just as easily get the medkit."
Lincoln: "I will be so mad about that later! For no reason!"
AJ: "I think we should stick together, because we're the only halfway likeable people on this show. Also, I think you should try some of that medical knowledge out on yourself, because you seem to have a terrible disease of some kind."
Lincoln: "This is just my face!"

LATER

Lena: "How's my leg?"
Linc: "Know how you used to think scars were sexy?"
Lena: "Oh, right. I'm one of those imaginary stereotype women that is like that all the time. The most romantic date I can think of is climbing a cliff or a mountain! I just love adventure and high-stakes excitement! Also explaining every fucking thing."
Linc: "Anyway. Let's talk about when we were little kids. I have a really boring story that sounds made up about what it might be like to grow up on a TV show set."
Lena: "Gosh, we had so much fun. Hey, apropos of nothing, did I ever tell you that my dad said you were Trouble?"
Linc: "Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but I sure did just pop a boner when you said that."

The River

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