The River

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Dry Spirit

Smokey: "Argh! Clank!"
Everybody: "I suppose that's somewhat notable."
Lincoln: "Emilio, did you ever run into invisible dinosaur Smoke Monsters in baby Krahò coffins that would take a notch out of a girl's leg before?"
Emilio: "I maybe would have mentioned that. Instead of talking about that further, let me say that -- before he fired me -- your dad used to hang out in the jungle by himself sometimes. I kind of thought he was losing it, but he just told me not to worry about it."
Kurt: "Because he had a gun! I knew it. I love those things."
Emilio: "No, because of magic. Emilio out."


Jahel: "Did you guys notice this baby coffin was covered in blood? That's because of a mythical ghost demon called The Dry Spirit, El Corpo Seco, which was a soul so bitter that the ground would not take him."
Lincoln: "Yeah, but in the next episode we learn that Amazonians don't bury their..."
Jahel: "-- Anyway. The devil sent him back from hell so now he wanders around looking for blood to make him whole. More blood is more strength."
Lincoln: "Wait, are you talking about a ghost? Or is this like some regular guy?"
Jahel: "Sigh. Anyway, these baby coffin deals were Krahò soul-traps for him. Your dad bled all over the thing to lure it in, and then trapped it, and then put it under a blanket, and then put that whole deal in the panic room, and then soldered it closed."
Lincoln: "I guess we shouldn't have undone all that hard work."
Jahel: "I tried to tell you that, if you recall. Anyway, now we fed it some Lena blood so it's strong enough."
Lincoln: "Strong enough to what? Also, we gotta get the fuck out of here."

*(My emph., again, because that same Q&A sequence will come up again later and it may or may not be a coincidence. I'm thinking yes, but you never know.)


Lincoln: "Okay, somebody is out there. Maybe an animal, maybe a guy on drugs, maybe everybody is on drugs as we speak. Maybe it's even the ghost monster we saw a second ago that is right now rattling the treetops, we have no way of knowing. But we gotta go."
Lena: "Well, while nobody was watching me and the cameras weren't detecting anything weird, I came out to check the lifeboats and they are just fucked. We are stuck here."
Linc: "Clark, did you do this? To make for good TV?"
Clark: "Possibly. But I am nonetheless scandalized!"

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The River




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