The River
The River

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 431 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Ghostland Conservatory

1989, FAIRLY RECENTLY AFTER THE AFOREMENTIONED XMAS

Emmet: "Hey Lincoln? Without further ado, let me tell you a very long story while you pretend not to be distracted by whatever you were doing before I came in here to bother you."
Lincoln: "I'll do my best."

Long ago, when I was hiking in Mali, I met a man high up in the Bandiagara cliffs. A shaman who was Old As The Hills, and said he would never die. And he said to me, "Life and death are the same, like a weight on a clock that swings back and forth. Tick to tock." Then he said the clock was getting very old, and was waiting for someone strong enough to cut the weight and stop the swing. And all the time he's telling me this, his old wife -- who was also Old As The Hills, and would never ever die -- was making this.

Lincoln: "A tribal necklace with a weird thing hanging from it. Neat. Do you think maybe these West African people were grifters? How much did you pay for this necklace?"
Emmet: "...And she gave it to me and she said that one day, I would meet a child who was strong enough."
Lincoln: "To do what?"
Emmet: "Fucking I just told you."

Lincoln: "Kinda vague."
Emmet: "Well, that's for the child to know. My place in things was that... I would know the one when I saw him. And when I did, I should give him this."
Lincoln: "Frankly, sounds like zombies. Sounds like I'm supposed to jumpstart a zombie apocalypse. With a magic necklace. It is within the realm of possibility that this show might suck sometime soon."
Emmet: "Nevertheless."

Baby Lincoln: "What if I lose it?"
Emmet: "We never lose the things that matter."

Skinny Man Lincoln: "...So that's when I realized my Dad doesn't matter."

NOW

Lincoln: "I guess part of it is that I'm jealous. I kind of never knew my Dad because he was always performing, and then we were estranged, and now he's a zombie. So the fact that you knew things about him that not even Tess did..."
Lena: "Whatever, I'm sketchy. Duh. Let's talk about your teddy bear."
Lincoln: "I got him after watching A Christmas Carol, in which Jacob Marley was my favorite part. Hence, Marbeley. If this show were more obvious with its literary roots, I'd probably call it Banquoy or something instead."
Lena: "And now look! Ghosts everywhere! And you just riling them up!"
Lincoln: "Oh, but it gets more interesting."
Lena: "Does it really?"
Lincoln: "When I was sixteen I chunked him in the Indian Ocean."
Lena: "You were a very well-traveled child, Jonny Quest."
Lincoln: "I was having Daddy Issues as usual, as I recall..."

The River

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