The River
The River

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 430 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Ghostland Conservatory

When I was a little kid, my whole life was this bear. [Weirdly sudden change of tack.] And my Dad, he made me feel like I was the only thing in the whole world that mattered. You know? Like I was the light in his life... One day, that light went off. I don't know why, but nothing I could do could flick it back on again. I mean, I knew he loved me, but... Whatever quest he was on, I wasn't on the map.

Lena: "So to reiterate, he was a selfish Baby Boomer parent. Yeah, we got that. Like a hundred times. I just don't want you to hold it against me."
Lincoln: "I got something I could..."
Lena: "I'm being self-absorbed and needlessly portentous right now, Lincoln. As I was saying, I think he was protecting you by avoiding me... [To wit, verbatim] He knew what he was doing out here. That he'd be inviting in darkness. He wouldn't ever risk exposing you or Tess to that. But me? He could risk me."

She's unbelievably sad about that. I wonder if there's more to the story? More than perhaps even Lena knows? Yes. The answer is yes.

AJ: "I can't sleep! I should adjust the cameras and talk shit to the dolls, just like I did in the last episode when I was talking shit to Smokey. [Shit talking commences.] Okay, well, goodnight."
Dolls: Grr. Swivel. Stare. Spooky. Dolls.

Lincoln -- over the shivery, time-lapsed hours of the night -- is yanked, first slowly and then more quickly and finally at a frankly dangerous speed, out of his sleeping bag and into the bug-free, temperate night air of the Amazon.

Lincoln: "Oh my God! What is happening?"
Ghost Tree: "These white people are unbelievable. What the fuck do you think happened?"
Everybody: Panics and goes running into the jungle in their boxers, screaming their damned heads off.

Tess, within seconds: "Oh my God! Even though this stream is two inches deep, dead people's hands are coming out of it and dragging me in!"
Everybody: "I'm sure it's fine."

The River

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