The River
The River

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 435 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Flying Dutchman

Tess: "Russ, it's so good to see you! What are these, chains? Good look."

She hugs him hard. I bet he smells amazing even right now. If you are casting somebody to still look hot after being chained up and turned into a dead zombie, I suggest you start with Lee Tergesen.

Kurt: "Well, that's all of us. I guess we'll just chill until sunrise and then become zombies."
Tess: "But can they tell us where my husband is?"

TWELVE MINS.

The Drunks: (Slowly get their shit together.)

Tess: "I can't help feeling like today's the day we get saved in the next twelve minutes."
Everybody: "By a couple of drunk Brits and your useless son? Cool."
Russ: "We should find some way to let them know where we are, though."
Cappy: "If only we could route the signal from these cameras back to where they are already sending a signal because that is how cameras work. I will get started on that."
Tess: "Let's have a conversation about all kinds of unrelated shit while that's happening."

SIX MONTHS AGO

Russ: "Mostly what went down is, I was ridiculously hot all over the place and Emmet was obsessing on this thing called the Source, which is..."
Everybody: "-- OH MY GOD, WE KNOW!"
Russ: "Well, I told him. We were warned not to go this far into the Boiuna, and horrible things kept happening to us, but we just kept going."
Tess: "How annoying that sounds!"
Russ: "Anyway, he said we were being tested by the Boiuna and that this was maybe the final exam and that he had to prove we were Strong Enough..."
Linc & Lena: "Strong Enough to what?"
Russ: "I don't know, some crap about zombies and Germans I think."

Cappy: "By using cameras the way cameras have always worked, I have now created a way to tell Linc and Clark where we are and how zombies work! Lena, get in front of this camera and start emoting some more."

TEN MINS

Linc keeps running around the ship looking for people and totally missing Lena screaming on the TV cameras in the editing bay, which is actually a pretty neat setup for the story. In terms of what the show's working with, that was the best part of the episode: Lincoln and Lena, on side-by-side screens that can't see each other, screaming for each other.

The River

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