After a sideswipe by a random rude vessel leaves the Magus stranded, it's up to Tess to yell into the radio for about twelve hours straight. The crew eventually decides to head out on foot, so of course that's when they're contacted by a friendly vessel, the Exodus -- a craft of eco-warriors who hate deforestation -- that sells them extra parts to fix the ship.
Of course, what they're really doing is being zombies.
Seems we've run aground of a Flying Dutchman, Brigadoon, Pirates Of The Carribean situation in which the five-man zombie crew of this ironically named boat can't ever leave it unless they replace themselves with fresh meat. One by one, our guys head over there. Some are lured, but of course most of them just blithely wander over out of bloody-minded idiocy.
Lena's spent the whole time worrying about the fact that nobody cares about her dad, Russ Landry, the hot-as-hell cameraman -- Played by Lee Tergesen! YES! -- that went missing along with Dr. Emmet Cole, so of course she finds him on the ghost ship during a playful exploration, but it's no good: She and Cappy are the first to be reassigned to zombie duty. (Not a new situation for him, but still not pleasant.)
Meanwhile, a more sympathetic zombie lady lures Tess over with the promise of a better map of the region... And perhaps most interestingly, the previously compromised and self-interested Kurt figures out that something's fishy and ends up accidentally volunteering as well, once he murders their captain -- who immediately comes back to life again.
After many inventive zombie effects on all the cameras and a stressful search by AJ, Clark and Lincoln -- with an assist from the resourceful-as-ever Jahel, who's kept behind by her father's ongoing creepy obsession with her sexuality -- the two crews are reunited, and our guys light them all on zombie fire about a minute before the sunrise that would make the change irrevocable.
Lena screams and cries and whines for a million years after watching her dad go up in literal flames, and then at the end, the first actually funny thing happens, on the show-within-the-show that we're watching: A memorial title card for Russ himself, 1960-2011.
We'll miss you, Russ. Although not even the excellence of Lee Tergesen could sell that last image of him smiling doofily, catching fire and giggling, "I love you, Peaches!" for the simple reason that nobody could do that shit unscathed, because it was ridiculous in exactly the way that this show is ridiculous. (Although it's nice to know that the cookie-cutter daddy issues go both ways. Lost really was a gamechanger in that respect.)
On the larger scheme, we revisit the Source and Cole's obsession with it, as well as his repeated theme of being "strong enough" to do whatever the River needs, or is testing, him to do. At this point, the zombies have so proliferated in variety that I still think it's about zombies, but we'll see.
Next week: A shocking video, more of Dr. Cole coming undone, and a mysterious military base in the middle of the Boiuna where they probably make zombies.
Everybody wanted to find Dr. Emmet Cole and nobody cared about Russ Landry, despite him being played -- as it turns out -- by Lee Tergesen. As the crew made their way deeper into the uncharted Boiuna, they kept having ghost experiences and not learning from them. It was okay though, because they were all kind of dicks and it's nice to watch them suffer.
Clark, I Think?: "Lena, what is that makes you so horrible? Like what's with the accordion, for example?"
Lena: "Sometimes when you feel an intense need for male approval, you can really do some terrible shit in the pursuit of seeming interesting. Hardly ever works out."
Clark: "Anything else on your mind?"
Lena: "Just, like, it's kind of bullshit that everybody's so worried about Cole, but my dad is also missing. Like, we are also looking for my dad. But that's so unimportant to the show and everyody on it that this is the first episode of the series where they even say what his name is."
Cameraman: "What that says is that we're going to find him in this episode, because he isn't significant to the overall plot. You should be happy, the show's only half over and you're getting some kind of story arc. Can't say that for anybody else."
Lena: "That is a good point. Let's see some footage of my dad, so we know who'll be guest starring as him later in the episode. Because of how TV works and how shows are shot. I guarantee we won't be seeing him again on this show unless they taped pickup shots this week for later."
It is: LEE TERGESEN! What great news! This show just got a lot cooler, and about three times hotter.
We know where to look next -- I guess because of Cappy somehow? Anyway, Tess has a bug up her ass, surprisingly enough, and is barking out orders with ten times her usual lack of appeal or charisma.
Tess: "Today could be the day we find my husband, Dr. Emmet Cole! But visibility is low! So I need everybody to do whatever I am screaming about! NOW!"
They: Do. It involves keeping lookout for the big nothing in the fog, for about half the episode I would estimate.
Adorable: Lincoln, hopping around the deck with his flashlight.
Adorable: Jahel, for once.
There's a ROCK! Lincoln tells Tess and she easily steers around it. It is riveting.
There's a BOAT! Lincoln tells Tess, and she steers... directly into it.