Road to Stardom

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Potes: A- | 1265 USERS: C+
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I'm Too Punk Rock For This

Cori does a little rap about how bad she is at rapping. She says she's proud that she had the confidence to do this, since her thing is singing. And frankly, I actually think she should be proud that she has the confidence to sing, since she is utterly tone deaf. She gets a round of applause from the other contestants, who are also grateful about the not-singing bit.

Nilyne steps up to the mic opposite Nic, and looks deep into his eyes while singing, "You look good, but so do I/ We got a crazy chemistry going on baby/ It's your move, I'll make you mine/ When you show me what I want to know." And lest you think it's bad enough that she's singing these words (poorly, I may add) to a man who wears a hand towel on his head, she continues: "Meet me on the back of the bus, yeah, don't you make a fuss/ Take your microphone off and we can get it on and on and on and on." And I think a much less humiliating route would have been to slip Nic a note on the back of a receipt from the Amazing.net Superstore that said, "I am a brazen hussy with indiscriminate taste, and would like to invite you to have hott sex with me on a bunk bed in the back of a lice-infested bus amidst a group of total strangers. RSVP by showing up with your fly down at 9:00 PM, sharp!" Nic interviews that he was taken aback by Nilyne's song, but that it was a great way of putting her feelings out in the open. I'll say.

The group sings together, and there's a bit of nice harmony going on amidst the melee. Fat Marcus then sings some really, really high notes. He sounds like Patti LaBelle. Yelawolf interviews that Fat Marcus touches him and hits him deep, and that he feels good when Fat Marcus sings, despite the fact that he looks like he's taking a gigantic crap. (I added that last part, which is totally true. The part that Yelawolf said was really nice, though.)

Austin tells the contestants that the track is something he and Missy developed for them, and that they should work on it over the next several weeks and make it their own. Missy interviews that she hopes the contestants' writing skills are up. But she says it with a smile that reads, "I can't wait to humiliate your poor composition and stupid lyrics. Ha!" More Missy! More Missy! Each contestant gets a copy of the track, which Matthew says got everyone fired up and ready to go.

Road to Stardom

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