Simple Life

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | 419 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Green Acres

It's Day One. Paris and Nicole walk across the tarmac, clutching their pillows from the plane. They spot a pick-up truck with its doors open. Paris asks if she has to drive, and Nicole says that she doesn't drive. Paris helps Nicole hoist her luggage into the bed of the truck. Paris reads a note from production...I mean, "their host family" that was taped to the steering wheel. Paris reads the name of their host family as "Heading," but then Nicole corrects her and pronounces it "Leading." I thought it was "Leding" and that it would be pronounced with a long "e," but what do I know? In a completely original and not-at-all foreseeable move, the editors have started up "Dueling Banjos" on the soundtrack. Come ON! Have a little bit of originality or creativity! Sigh. Anyway, Paris tries to start the truck, but the engine cranks and cranks. She finally gets it started, and Nicole reads the directions to her. Nicole's voice is dubbed in, saying, "Paris, don't drive it like it's a Porsche!" Paris says the truck sounds like it's going to die. They get all turned around and start arguing about which way to go. Paris tries to throw the truck into Reverse, but once she gets it in gear, the truck doesn't move. Paris tries to make a U-turn, but she has the wheel cranked so hard that everything starts squealing. Then there's a montage of Paris trying to drive and Nicole telling her that the truck's not in Drive. I thought she didn't know how to drive? How is she an expert on gears all of a sudden? The truck stalls out and Paris manages to get it restarted. They're still at the airport, by the way. They finally get the truck turned around and onto the road.

Some on-screen text informs us that we are looking at the Leding Farm in Altus, AR. It's a modest house. It looks like it used to be even smaller, and that they've added on over the years, but it doesn't have an overarching architectural style like Cape Cod or Colonial or anything. It kind of looks like a shack with extras. Think the modern-day version of the Ingalls home, and you wouldn't be far off. An interviewer asks Albert Leding -- who is identified as "Head of Household" -- what he expects from the girls. His wife, Janet, answers for him. She wants the girls to pick up after themselves and not leave stuff lying around. The interviewer asks Justin and Cayne, the Leding sons, how they will treat the girls. Justin says that it depends on how they treat him. He adds that if they are "little snotty bitches," then "paybacks are hell." Yeah, I can't really see this kid being outright mean. He looks too innocent with his camouflage shirt on. Cayne thinks it's really funny that his brother swore on television.

Simple Life

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