Simple Life
So Long!

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So Long!

The girls only have sixteen hours left in Altus. So they decide (or, more likely, production decides) that they're going to wash the truck. Not Waylon tells us that Paris and Nicole have settled with everyone in town, and now Albert wants some payback, too. Nicole gags at how dirty the car is. Paris is wearing a bikini top, a trucker hat, and those velour yoga pants she wore earlier in the season that totally don't stay up. Paris tries to spray Cayne with the hose, so he runs away. Various guys (friends of the Leding boys?) stand around and gawk, like, couldn't they be a little less obvious about it? Cayne fills up some buckets with water, then sneaks up behind the girls and splashes them. This starts a full-on water fight, and the girls appear to be taking the brunt of it. There is nothing more ridiculous than seeing Paris trying to run after Cayne with her pants falling down. It's called elastic, or even a drawstring. Look into it. Albert convinces some of the boys to throw Paris and Nicole into the pool (the Ledings have a pool?), and the boys gladly oblige.

Later that night, Paris and Nicole sit around and chitchat with the boys. Paris says that they're going to get Cayne back while he's sleeping, and Cayne says he's not going to sleep. Smart boy. Paris thinks the whole thing was a lot of fun. Someone's cell phone rings, and Nicole swears while telling them to turn it off. She realizes that she just dropped the F-bomb in front of Albert, and apologizes, saying that she didn't mean to do it on purpose. She even swears on her soul. Albert deadpans, "That soul's in trouble." Paris says that "fuck" is Nicole's favorite word, and Nicole adds that it's her favorite action, too. Can you imagine talking like that in front of your parent or guardian? Maybe you can. I can't. I still don't think I've ever said "fuck" in front of my mother. Unless she reads these recaps. In which case, hi Mom! Albert tells his kids to go into the house to get away from Nicole's filthy mouth.

The next morning, it's finally the final day. Albert gets up at 5:30 AM, as I imagine he does every day, being a farmer and all. Albert interviews that the girls will be leaving today, but that he won't get to see them before they leave, because he has to work. Albert walks out to his truck. Paris and Nicole run out in their pajamas and say that they got up early so that they could say goodbye. They thank Albert for having them, and apologize for causing so much trouble. Albert says it's okay, and wishes them a safe trip. Albert interviews that he hopes the girls take some lessons back to their lives, even in a small way. Good luck with that. As Albert drives off, Nicole says that he hates her and Paris. I don't think he does. I think he's disgusted by them at times. Now, me: I hate them and I'm disgusted by them.

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Simple Life

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