So the pie thing isn't happening, but Paris and Nicole still need to fulfill their duties as co-chairs of the gala. Nicole goes up to a face-painting booth, and the painter is the mother of someone on our forums! Very exciting. Anyway, Nicole says that Braxton is running for Prince, and asks if she can get Braxton painted on her tits. Classy. And appropriate. And I'm so sure that was Nicole's idea.
The Mayor is ready to start the Prince contest, but Paris and Nicole are nowhere to be seen. Apparently, they are in a nearby pub. Paris says that she's drinking beer at 8:00 AM, which makes her a redneck. No, it makes her an alcoholic. And should Nicole, fresh out of rehab, be drinking? The Mayor fetches the girls from the pub. Paris and Nicole walk up on stage, and the Mayor introduces them. Janet interviews that Nicole must be out of her mind to think that painting Braxton's name on her chest is appropriate. Paris and Nicole giggle their way through introducing the Prince and Princess contest. Paris adds, "Braxton, you're so hot right now. We love you." Man. I just want to kick Paris in the face. Is that wrong? Why would she think it was a good idea to tell Braxton -- who is, may I remind you, three years old -- that he's hot? Why not just go the whole nine and tell him that she thinks he's sexy and start freaking him on the dance floor? Nicole orders the crowd to start laughing, and they do. Braxton takes the stage. The emcee looks exactly like my cousin. Braxton submits to an interview while Albert shakes his head at Paris and Nicole's inappropriate behavior. In an interview, Albert asks Janet if anyone in town will ever talk to them again, and Janet replies, "Probably not."
Nicole and Paris are at some sort of pie-in-the-face booth. I thought usually you threw the pie at someone? Nicole just smashes the pie into the girl's face. Paris interviews that the people in Altus are nice, and that the townspeople like them because they are sweet. Cue the montage of female townspeople giving Paris and Nicole dirty looks while "Bad To The Bone" plays. Nicole sits on some guy's lap in the pub. Paris dunks a little boy in the dunking booth. Paris voice-overs that she thought being co-chairs wouldn't be much work, but it is. The Mayor comes and retrieves the girls from the pub again to get them to work a shift in the kissing booth.
As they walk over, Nicole asks for clarification on the kissing thing. The Mayor says that they can kiss people on the cheek. I wonder if Altus usually has a kissing booth or if this was just set up for Paris and Nicole's visit. Paris and Nicole give out lots of kisses on the cheek. One loser walks up. He's wearing a t-shirt that says, "Drunk: Blow Here" with an arrow pointing to his crotch. Awesome. I kind of want one. He wants Paris and Nicole to kiss each other. Paris says it would be like kissing your sister. Nicole wants the two guys to kiss. They refuse. Nicole says that if they do, she'll kiss Drunk Blow Here on the lips. The two guys actually kiss. Wow! Nicole must be a lot hotter in person than she appears on screen, because I totally did not think they would. Nicole screams with laughter. She gives Drunk Blow Here the shortest kiss ever. He was clearly going in for a makeout session, and she backed away after barely brushing his mouth. Aw. Poor Drunk Blow Here. A fat kid pays money to kiss Nicole's butt cheek. They pixelate Paris's ass to make you think she's not wearing drawers, but I read in an article that she was just wearing "inappropriate underwear." Frankly, any dress that shows whether or not you're wearing underwear is inappropriate in my book. Janet interviews that Paris and Nicole turned the kissing booth upside down. Nicole comments that this is the most action she's had all week. Janet interviews that the girls are starting to make the family look bad. "Starting to"?