Sopranos
46 Long

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
46 Long

Back room of the club. The boys snack and count money around a table, and on the TV a talking head drones on about John Gotti. Paulie "Walnuts" Gaultieri (yes, I finally figured out his last name) casually changes the channel, and Tony "Cosa Buspar" Soprano grabs the clicker and yells at Paulie through a mouthful of food to "put that back." The talking head asks an unseen interviewee about the situation "on the ground today," and Big Pussy "Who Put The 'Bop' In The 'Bop Shoo Bop Shoo'" Bonpensiero strolls in and dumps more cash onto the table from of a crumply paper bag, and the interviewee describes "confusion" and "a vacuum at the top." Paulie makes a snide comment. Christopher "Perth Dumb Boy" Moltisanti, clad in a stereotypically shiny (and fugly) sweatsuit, tones his bicep with a giant dumbbell and smokes at the same time. What a health nut -- although, to tell the truth, the only thing that gets me through my own workout is the promise of a cigarette afterwards. The interviewee says something about government policy taking nearly twenty years to "behead the crime families," and the talking head asks about a growing disregard for the rules "that used to serve the old dons so well" as Tony and Silvio "Born To Run" Dante stare dully at the money on the table. "Sil," Tony says grimly, "cheer me up, babe." Silvio stands up and delivers Al Pacino's big line from Godfather III: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" He even makes the same melodramatic Ab-Roller hand gesture that Pacino makes in the movie. Heh. The boys laugh. The talking head introduces a former Genovese capo turned government witness and "best-selling author" named Vincent Rizzo, who says of the Mafia that "the party's over," which prompts Tony to scowl and shoot a rubber band at the TV. Pussy and Christopher have a verbal scuffle which doesn't really go anywhere, except to further the impression that Christopher isn't the sharpest needle in the pincushion. Tony and Pussy discuss cloning, Tony saying that he tells his kids "only God can make a life," Pussy reading aloud from an article that mentions cloning Princess Di. In the background, the capo announces that "the golden age, or whatever, of the Mob -- that's gone," adding that "they have only themselves to blame." Paulie takes a sip of scotch and grouses that they must pay "this chiachiadon'" -- basically, "blabbermouth" -- "by the word" as Rizzo posits that drug trafficking "ruined everything" for the Mob, and Christopher groans "oh!" all mock-wounded (he's now moved on to tricep curls). Rizzo talks about guys ratting on each other to avoid prosecution. Silvio asks the other guys if they think the royal family had Princess Di "whacked." Paulie chuckles, "Last time I ever take a fuckin' limo in Paris." "Like you were ever in Paris, Paulie," Christopher snorts, and Paulie informs him haughtily that he "went over for a blow job," and says that Christopher's mother "was working the bon-bon concession at the Eiffel Tower." He chuckles again, all proud of himself at zinging Christopher, and he repeats the exchange to Silvio word for word: "D'you hear what I told him?" More cloning chit-chat. The TV talking head is pontificating about "the code of silence, or the omertà," and as the boys continue to listen and count cash, Rizzo says that "you're always gonna have organized crime, always," that as long as people have "appetites for" things like gambling, hookers, and drugs, "someone's always gonna surface to serve those needs." Silvio looks disgusted, throws down a brick of bills, gets up, and delivers the line from Godfather III again, and we go to credits.

The cab of an eighteen-wheeler. From the driver's POV, we see two cars on the shoulder, and a guy standing beside the cars, waving his arms. As a salsa singer squeals "¬°ay caramba!" in the background, the driver mutters to himself and pulls over, and Christopher pops in the driver's side window with a gun to confirm that the driver has DVD players in the back. "Don't hurt me, man," the driver says, and Christopher tells him that the only people who get hurt "are ones who try to be fuckin' jerk-offs" (which I guess exempts Christopher himself, since he seems to come by his jerk-off-itude naturally) and orders him to get out of the cab "nice and easy." The driver climbs down. The waving guy, a.k.a. Brendan "High" Filone, comes around the front of the truck, also with a gun, and starts blathering on about "quick and painless," and the driver asks them to tie him up so that the trucking company won't think he's in on the hijacking too. Christopher scoffs that they aren't "trying for a merit badge" and they don't carry rope around with them; the driver says he has some rope in the cab, pleading, "Please, I need this job." Christopher rolls his eyes and tells Brendan to get the rope, but the driver wants them to beat him up as well; if he comes out of the robbery unscathed, it'll look suspicious. Christopher can't believe his ears ("you wanna be scathed?"), but he shrugs his assent, so Brendan pops the driver in the nose. The driver goes down in a heap, groaning, "Okay, that's cool, man, thanks," but Brendan thumps him a couple more times for good measure. Christopher contributes a kick in the ribs, then asks Brendan, "Scathed?" Brendan says, "Scathed," and they go back to their cars while the driver writhes on the ground. Yeah, it's violence, and yeah, it's not funny. Still: heh.

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Sopranos

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