46 Long

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 4 USERS: B+
46 Long

Okay, back to the show. We see one of Junior's guys, Mikey, in a car smoking a cigarette. Tony comes over to bust his chops. Referring to the DVD hijacking, the guy asks Tony if Christopher is "retarded," and Tony wonders what would happen if Jerry Lewis heard Mikey talking that way. "That's muscular dystrophy, Tone," Mikey corrects him, and Tony comments that "it's too bad they don't have a telethon for fuckface-itis, huh? They find a cure yet?" and I make a note to remember that line and use it on the idiots at my bank one of these days. Mikey just stares at Tony, his smile fading, and Tony makes hearty "hardy har har, just kidding" noises and shakes Mikey's hand, and then he goes on his way, and Mikey sighs and rolls his eyes.

Starbucks. Paulie stands in front of a display of coffee-making accouterments, seething. Pussy comes up behind him and relays the fact that the guy fitting the description he gave to the redhead does work at that Starbucks, and so does the guy's boyfriend, and Pussy got the address. Paulie, still seething, doesn't respond. Pussy asks if he's listening. "Yeah," Paulie snaps, glaring at the coffee stuff some more. "Oh, again with the rape of the culture," Pussy snorts, and says he wants to "find these Spice Girls already and get this over with," and off he goes. Paulie glowers at the coffee stuff for another moment, then grabs a French press and stows it under his jacket and stomps off after Pussy. Heh.

Carmela gets out of a Benz wagon at Livia's, carrying a loaf of bread and a bakery box. As she high-heel-clops around the car, Perrilyn bursts out of Livia's front door in a state of high dudgeon and explodes, "That's it!" in Carmela's direction. Carmela, stunned: "What happened?"

Inside, Livia shrugs elaborately, "Beats me." "Did you say something to her?" Carmela asks. Livia naturally gets insulted and says she knows "how to talk to people," then fumes, "These blacks -- who knows what they're gonna take the wrong way. So she's gone!" She shrugs again, but as she turns away from Carmela to go into the kitchen, she makes a "my fiendish plot is working" face.

Soprano Manor. With a traffic report droning in the background, Tony takes his Prozac and stares at himself in the bathroom mirror.

Satriale's. Tony bitches at Christopher and Brendan for not paying the restitution to Junior. Christopher complains that "restitution is one thing," but does Tony know how much Junior wants? Fifteen grand. "Hey, you jack the wrong truck, that's what happens," Tony tells him. Christopher makes a "what can you do?" face at Brendan. They file past a rack of hocks and into Tony's office as Christopher observes that he didn't see Tony in a big hurry to return his DVD player. Tony puts his feet up and says with a grin that he's enjoying it very much, actually. "I'm not gonna pay it," Christopher snaps. Tony finds this funny: "Oh yeah?" "I'm serious," Christopher says. "No, serious is what happens if you don't pay, by my hand," Tony says, still smiling. Christopher gets out his ukelele and plays The One Note Of Getting His Due, blathering on about the technique of positive visualization blah blah blah "undermined" blah blah blah "Triboro Towers situation" blah blah blah "should have been made, right then, boom" blah blah blah sleeps-with-the-fishes-cakes. Tony is openly laughing at him now, which Christopher doesn't appreciate, reiterating that he's serious; Tony tells him -- obviously not for the first time, or even the tenth -- that "the books are closed." "Did you talk to Jackie about me?" Christopher demands. Tony repeats that "they're not accepting any new members" and goes on to tell Christopher that he has "a reputation for immaturity," which won't improve if he doesn't pay the tributes he's supposed to on the say-so of the acting boss. Brendan puts his foot dead in it by saying that everyone knows Tony really runs things, not Jackie, and as he turns to Christopher and laughs all horsy-face (don't ask), Tony loses his temper and throws Brendan bodily out of the room and into a table full of pork chops, then slams the door of the office. He glares at Christopher and his clown-esque maroon sweatsuit and sits back down. Christopher gets the hint: "All right -- all right, but fifteen grand is too much." Tony tells Christopher to give the whole fifteen grand to him; he'll talk to Junior and work him down to around ten. Christopher grudgingly hands over a gym bag full of cash and starts to leave, but Tony stops him and tells him firmly to leave Comley Trucking, and anything else in Junior's purview, "including his hemorrhoid donut," alone. Christopher mutters a reluctant assent and leaves. Tony starts to put packets of cash in his jacket pockets, singing to himself. Outside, Brendan and Christopher kvetch about the tribute some more while a waitress puts ice on Brendan's forehead, thus causing Brendan's lone brain cell to die of overexposure.

In a stairwell, Pussy hands Paulie a gun from a shopping bag, then takes one out for himself. They knock on a door, and a voice inside trills, "Who is it?" Paulie basically mutters "rhubarb" a few times (the captioning reads "[jibberish]"). To the accompaniment of house music, a guy in bike shorts opens the door with the chain on, and Pussy asks if he's Mr. Arnez. "What do you want?" Bike Shorts asks. Pussy politely inquires as to whether Bike Shorts has seen a schoolteacher's Saturn around. Bike Shorts hurriedly closes the door; Pussy kicks it open, and it bounces off Bike Shorts's face and knocks him down. Pussy and Paulie barge into the apartment, and Paulie heads towards the bedroom, from which another voice calls, "Eddie, I'm reeeeady," and behind him Pussy drags Bike Shorts along by the collar with a gun pointed at his head. The other guy comes out of the bedroom and starts wailing in terror; Pussy throws Bike Shorts onto a divan and tells him he stole the wrong car, and Bike Shorts says he won't talk without a lawyer, so Pussy puts the gun in Bike Shorts's mouth and tells him he's got Johnnie Cochran "right here."

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