A Hit Is A Hit

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: D | 1 USERS: A+
A Hit Is A Hit

Back at the Sopranos' nest (heh), Carmela is on the phone with the stockbroker, uh, stocking up on American Biotics, um, stock. Meadow looks stunned that her mother is playing the market, but Carmela tells her that women are better savers because they're nurturers, and she needs to take care of her baby birds if Big Bird dies. She was about to give Meadow a lecture on the lessons of life, but she opted for a day of beauty at Georgette Klinger instead. 'Cause if you look good, you can get yourself a man to take care of you. Now that's a life lesson.

Tony decided to take up Stupid Neighbor on his offer of a round of golf at the Club. All the stupid friends of Stupid Neighbor are oohing and aahing over Tony's putt (?). You'll have to bear with me, I don't know anything about golf. As they walk, uh, somewhere, some random stupid guy asks Tony if he ever played golf at Al's place down in Florida. Al Capone's place, that is. Tony blows him off, only to be asked a question by the other random stupid guy about how realistic The Godfather was. Tony gives Stupid Neighbor some serious stink-eye over this harassment, and Stupid Neighbor, to his credit, looks a bit uncomfortable. But it's hard to tell whether he looks uncomfortable because his friends are assholes or because he's afraid Tony will call a hit on him. I'm hoping for the hit. Stupid Neighbor's stupid friends continue to make asses of themselves by referencing GoodFellas and asking about John Gotti. Tony tries to pretend he isn't bothered by this, but he obviously is. James Gandolfini is a good actor.

Adriana, Christopher, and Massive Genius are listening to the demo that Defiler put together. It involves cat sounds. It's a little frightening. Christopher plays it for Hesh, who agrees with me that it is complete shit and that Christopher would have put his money to better use by using the bills as toilet paper. Well, okay, Hesh was nicer, but not much.

Tony sits in Dr. Melfi's office, talking about golfing with the assholes. He's drawing a parallel to a kid, Jimmy, in his old neighborhood who had a cleft palate and used to hang around Tony's crew. They used to laugh at him all the time, but Jimmy didn't mind because he got to hang out with the popular kids. They would encourage him to sing so they could laugh at him, but when the laughs got old, they quit calling and then, years later, Tony found out that Jimmy had run home every night and cried himself to sleep. Tony says that he felt bad, but he never knew what it felt like to be used for someone else's amusement until he played golf with his Stupid Neighbor. Aw. That's a really poignant story. Dr. Melfi has nothing to add, but she wants to know what happened to Jimmy. He's in prison for robbery. The cops identified him by his distinctive cleft palate voice.

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