Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A- | 561 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
He May Walk Like A Man, But He Ain't No Gigolo

Hey, look! It's Meadow. We haven't seen her for a while. She and Finn are watching Frida at her apartment, which is subtextually relevant presumably because of Frida's enormous unibrow. AJ calls from outside his concert to say that he won't be staying at her place, and Meadow agrees to help cover for him in case Mom calls. Finn, meanwhile, keeps trying to shove his hand into Meadow's crotch. Hmm. Looks like someone still thinks she's on the set of the Heidi Fleiss movie.

Casa de Soprano. Carmela quietly luxuriates in a bubble bath, and the plucky guitar music and the fact that both hands are below the waterline lead me to wonder what exactly she might be planning for this evening alone. Except then it turns out that all she planned to do was nag her kids, because she gets out of the tub to go call Meadow and check on AJ. Points for wearing a robe, though! Meadow's movie is over by now, but she and Finn are still dry-humping on the sofa. She sits up to answer the phone, and reports that AJ is asleep, because he was totally "zapped." Hmm. Is that anything like being "deck"? She also says that she's never having kids, which I mention only because she seems to be the one character that generates the most future speculation in the forums. Lonely as ever, Carmela tries to make small talk, but Meadow brusquely claims that they're still watching the movie before hanging up. Then she and Finn go back to making out, although I suspect that if Heidi Fleiss ever did it like these two, Charlie Sheen would have been asking for his money back.

Cut to AJ and his, uh…buds, watching porn and taking giant hits off a homemade gravity bong. You know, for someone with Robert Iler's evidently extensive experience, you'd think the boy would know to clear the damn chamber. On the other hand, I'm totally stoked for the next "Why Can't We Be Friends?" promo where AJ, Brenda, and Ashley Hamilton get together to burn one in Mommatose's trailer. Yet another friend shows up with a Sharpie, and the kids prepare to punk the fourth friend, who's passed out in the bathroom. Hey, is that Egon? Because I miss him.

Bada Bing. Tony is chatting with a stripper at the bar about her painting hobby, and it's the most gratuitous tit shot I've seen since…well, since they chased Lorraine naked through her house about twenty-five minutes ago. Aw, David. You shouldn't have. Suddenly Dr. Rosencoupe appears in the club, telling Tony all about the car heist and begging for his help. "I'm not really in that business," replies Tony. Dr. Rosenheatedseatswitz isn't buying that one for a second, though, and he explains just how important the SL 55 was to his best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend who passed out at Thirty-One Flavors the other night. Tony doesn't make any promises, or even say anything at all, but it does seem like he'll look into it.

Sopranos

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