Verbum Dei. Tony, AJ, and Carmela are waiting outside the guidance counselor's office, and AJ is wearing khaki pants. I wouldn't mention that sort of thing ordinarily, but it's going to be relevant in a moment or two. Mr. Wegler escorts some snooty kid named Lem out of his office, extolling his grades and SAT scores all the while. And seeing as how I've already had to relive junior high gym class, I'd just like to further cement my uber junior-nerd status by pointing out that I kicked Lem's ass on the verbal. Wegler, by the way, is played by David Strathairn, who'll always be blind to me. He welcomes the Soprano clan into his office, and AJ is still wearing khaki pants. After some discussion of AJ's declining grades, the kid tries to distract everyone's attention by proudly reminding them that he turned in his list of colleges, like that's the one thing that'll make a difference at this point. His choices? Ramapo and Trenton State as safeties, and Arizona and Arizona State as reaches. ["Hee. Trenton State. Okay, everyone still calls it Trenton State, but about ten years ago it changed its official name to 'the College of New Jersey.' All well and good, except that in a sign on the front lawn, they misspelled the word 'Jersey.' Not kidding. 'Jeresy.' Anyway, all this by way of saying that it's a perfect school for AJ." -- Sars] Tony mentions that he plans on taking AJ for a tour out in Arizona later in the year, and I can only assume that he's planning on whacking Sammy "The Bull" Gravano while he's out there. Oh, and check out AJ's SAT scores: 505 verbal and 440 math. Um, 505? Are you sure those aren't his jeans we're talking about? He's still wearing khakis, though. Mr. Wegler thinks AJ could improve those scores if he can just "bear down and focus," but Tony points out that AJ's always had trouble with the focusing. And the bears, for that matter. In fact, Tony and Carmela even used to think that their son had A.D.D., which is news to AJ. Perhaps not surprisingly, he's actually thrilled to hear it, because if he's "learning disabled," it means he gets unlimited time on his SATs. Moron. Wegler sends him back to class, and when he stands up, he's suddenly wearing black pants. Oops. Once he's gone, Wegler asks Carmela if she's reviewed the results of AJ's meeting with the school shrink. She pulls out a folder, and reads off a list of diagnoses which basically say that AJ is a normal teenager and handling their separation pretty well. Wegler still suggests that he get regular therapy in any case, but Tony says no. "People use it as a crutch," he explains, with no irony whatsoever. "And I always wonder, whatever happened to Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type?" Um, yeah. He's probably down in Boca with Christopher, Eloise, and Isabella. Carmela actually agrees with Tony on this one, believe it or not, because she remembers that horrible "adolescent developmentalist" they sent Meadow to. I'm not sure that's really a reason to worry, though, because Linda Lavin seems to be spending her time out in The O.C. these days.
Episode Report CardAaron: A- | 561 USERS: C+
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