Sopranos
All Happy Families…

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He May Walk Like A Man, But He Ain't No Gigolo
Fade up on AJ at play in the driveway, imitating his daddy by repeatedly pulling his car up to the front of the house just like Tony does in the opening credits. Hmm. Is it just me, or has this show gotten a lot more meta this season? And if that's the case, what should we make of the next voices we hear, which come from two little kids shouting, "Ha ha, that's so funny!" and "No, it isn't"? We move around to the rear of the house, where Steve Buscemi is sitting on the deck, watching his twin sons frolicking in the pool. Tony comes over to join him, and hands over one of those old-style manual drills while lamenting the loss of his power drill. And oddly enough, it seems that The Sopranos endorses DeWalt drilling products, whereas Six Feet Under has repeatedly expressed a preference for Makita. Something tells me HBO's Product Placement Office was fielding a few confused phone calls this past Monday morning. And what exactly does Steve Buscemi need to borrow a drill for, anyway? Is he planning on hanging a Freddie Mercury poster in his mom's basement? At any rate, Tony tries to play with Steve's kids by spraying with them with a hose, but the water is freezing cold and the two kids basically seem to hate their fat faux-uncle anyway.

Tony then goes inside to chat with Carmela, who has been watching this tender little scene through the kitchen window. "[Those kids] will probably go through their entire lives not knowing that their father's sperm was smuggled out of jail to get Nancy pregnant," she says wistfully. Um, okay. And also ew. "It was the least I could do," replies Tony, making me wonder how exactly he handled that particular smuggling operation. I've heard of people swallowing condoms filled with drugs, but…well, I'm not even going to put that mental image in your heads. Tony stops to think for a minute, and then finally remembers what happened to his power drill: he lent it to Cousin Brian. This revelation is followed by what appears to be a panic attack, however, which made me think that maybe he'd used the drill on Joey Pants and was reliving the beheading. But the recaps never lie (except for that one time I told you all I'd call the next day), and Tony claims the attack is merely indigestion. Carmela is worried, which gives Tony the opportunity to exposit that he's stopped seeing Melfi, although he does blame this decision on a need to cut back on expenses because of the separation. Yeah. Remember that in twenty minutes when he buys the ugliest car ever.

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Sopranos

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