Over at the Newark FBI office, a little agent is telling his little boss that "the Soprano wiretap has been neutralized." Neither of them looks happy.

Junior's Joint. Junior gets comfy in front of the TV, and settles in to watch a movie. Just then, Bobby Bacala arrives, dressed in funeral black. He's surprised to see Junior not ready, since the funeral is about to start. Junior says he's not going, and keeps trying to concentrate on the TV. When Bobby presses him for a reason, Junior finally breaks down and admits that he has cancer. Bobby is speechless for a moment, and Junior has to lean to one side to see around him. Dominic Chianese is great here, and you can really see Junior's desperate need to think about anything but death. Bobby turns and mopes out, saying, "First my dad. Now you. What the fuck happened?" I wonder what he'll do when Junior finds a way to blame the cancer on Tony.

Speaking of Tony, he's returned to Fountains of Wayne. He's talking to Cop Roc about an $897 birdbath he's just purchased, and when he offers a $300 tip to ensure its safe delivery, Cop Roc doesn't even stop to think about it before walking away. As Tony learns a valuable lesson about racism and integrity, the director busts out his funky lens and holds a distorted shot of Tony, standing amongst a field of lawn gnomes. We pan up to the cloud-studded heavens above, and fade out.

David Chase: So this is heaven? Nice. I like the cloud motif.
God: Thanks. I made them myself.
David Chase: You know what would make this place better, though?
God: More pearl on the gates?
David Chase: Well, yeah, but I was thinking strippers. And maybe free shoes. Ooh, and free meat, too.
God: Get --
David Chase: Yeah, yeah. I'm going.

Well kids, that's it. It's 7:29 am EDT, on April Fools Day, 2001. I've been up since 6:30 am yesterday, there's a new episode of The Sopranos airing in less than fourteen hours, and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. And now you know how I spent my Saturday night. Flick. Ahhhh…was it good for you?