At the hospital, the Aprile crew is gathered around Random Guy A, who's comatose and sporting a massive head bandage. In case you were curious, the Aprile crew consists of Gigi, Joey Pants, Wide Guy, and Thin Guy. Thin Guy is wearing a sweater I once owned and loved. In 1987. Tony and Paulie enter, and the mandatory manly hugs are exchanged. Wide Guy bemoans the fact that Random Guy A is a vegetable on life support, but Pants cracks that they "should look on the bright side. He was not smart to begin with." Another bright side is that this guy might actually benefit from someone pulling the plug(s). When Tony notices that Jackie Jr. is there as well, he orders him out of the room. Out of humble respect for David Chase, and as a sign that I still remain unable to conjure a suitable nickname for this guy, I'll be referring to Jackie Jr. as "Little Lord Fuckpants" for the remainder of the recap. Which, considering his screen time this week, I should probably amend to "for the remainder of the next three words." Little Lord Fuckpants refuses to leave until Paulie comes over and suggests that he visit the "ear-nose-and-throat department" to get his hearing checked. Such is my love for Paulie that the mere utterance of the phrase "ear-nose-and-throat" was enough to make me giggle. Tony takes charge and tries to find out who's responsible. Pants continues with the wisecracks until Gigi reminds him that "we're trying to have a meeting here." If this were my real job, I'd so get stuck taking the minutes. Then I look down at my notepad and VCR remote and realize that I'm stuck taking minutes here, too. Joey Pants makes a Lee Iacocca joke, and since I think we all already know how funny those can be, I'll just move on. Pants explains that Mustang Sally, our Tiger Woods wannabe, has some anger management issues. Apparently he threw a hot-dog vendor off the second level of the Meadowlands because there were "too many fucking onions or some shit." I really don't want to swear this much, people, but all the good lines have profanity it them. Oh, please. Who am I fucking kidding? Adding the word "fuck" makes things fucking funny, and we all know it. ["It's the 'k.'" -- Sars] Gigi agrees to resolve the Mustang Sally situation with "extreme prejudice." He's gonna sic Nick Nolte on him? I hope not, because Nick Nolte never makes things funny. Tony and Paulie leave, and Wide Guy instantly rips open the box of candy and everyone digs in. Even the Svelte Silent Sweater Guy gets a piece.
Episode Report CardAaron: B- | 937 USERS: C+
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