At Junior's place, he and Bobby Jr. are half-heartedly playing checkers. Junior asks Bobby why he's such a "gloomy Gus," and Bobby almost breaks into tears when he explains that Tony assigned the Mustang Sally hit to his dad. Junior makes a pretty funny anagram joke that doesn't translate well on paper (or computer monitors, for that matter), but Bobby isn't laughing. He's afraid for Burt, because he's a sick old man. Bobby Jr. even has to help him off the toilet. "Would you shut up with the toilets and the goddamn morbidity already?" snipes Junior, and all I can add to that is "hear, hear." Junior still thinks he's the boss of the family, and promises to tell Tony not to let the old man make the hit.
Cut to Junior doing just that. They're in the lawyer's office, and Tony insists that Burt wants to do the job. Mr. Mink Esq. enters to retrieve a file from his desk, and Junior apologizes for commandeering the office, because it's the only place the Feds can't bug. Then he asks for some coffee. After Mink leaves, Tony explains that Burt can get to the kid, and that he's done this sort of thing "a thousand times before. It'll give him something to live for." Junior isn't happy, but the decision is final.
Back at Vesuvio, we get the best line of the episode: "So I told him I would take those Duncan Sheik records and shove them up his ass." I have no idea why that's so funny, but it is. Funnier than "ear-nose-and-throat," even. Artie strolls out of the kitchen, and Tony calls him "Wolfgang Fuckface." No wonder Spago just closed. Artie spots Christopher, refers to him as the "man who stole her away," and proceeds to start rubbing Christopher's shoulders in a highly inappropriate fashion. He then staggers drunkenly into a chair and pours himself a drink of their wine. There's more rudeness, and also more rubbing, and Christopher finally loses it, forcing Tony to break up the incipient fight. He sends Christopher outside, and then shoves Artie up against the wall, demanding to know what's going on. Artie professes his love for Adriana in a not-at-all-manly fashion, and Tony cracks up laughing. "If I still had my hair " moans Artie, and Tony replies that he couldn't get Adriana with "Casey Kasem's hair," and I'm not sure if that's supposed to be funny because he meant Dick Clark, or just because Casey Kasem's hair itself is funny. They both work, though. He sends the chastened Artie back into the kitchen, and also promises to call him about a business opportunity before walking out through the empty restaurant.