And marches right into a shot of, well, marching. The cadets are parading around the grounds at the Hudson Military Institute, and inside, AJ sits with a Major Zwingli, who's played by B-movie refugee Tobin Bell. Incidentally, I love this guy. The Major asks about the cheating incident, and AJ blames everything on the intense academic pressure he was under at Verbum Dei. After winning Sars's heart by correcting the kid's grammar, he prompts AJ to continue. It's also worth mentioning here that he's got what appears to be a live grenade on his desk as a paperweight. Anyway, AJ says the pressure comes from his parents as well, because they expect him to go to Columbia just like Meadow. Of course, if they keep making such big donations, that probably won't be much of a problem. Major Zwingli disagrees with me, but still manages to win my heart yet again through the cunning use of rhyme. "Around here we call that stinking thinking. It's precisely the same with an alcoholic. No one makes him put that drink to his lips but himself." "I'm not an alcoholic!" insists AJ, but the Major just launches into his recruitment speech: "At your school, and it's not a bad school, there's too much emphasis on what's good for you. What's good for Johnny. What's good for Janey. Here the higher good is the good of the corps. As General MacArthur said in his farewell address at the Point, 'The corps. The corps. The corps.'" Well, I guess that makes the General's feelings on arbitrary repetition pretty clear. And while this doesn't mean you should start triple-posting in the forums or anything, everyone should at least try it at least once. Or, you know, thrice. Major Zwingli then runs down the daily schedule, which starts at 0530 each day and runs up to taps and lights out at 2200. "What's missing? Give up? Television," he asks/says in one long breath, and I actually have to turn off the TV and down a few shots of tequila to calm my nerves after envisioning life in such a horrible environment. AJ's only concern, however, is what time 0530 is. After explaining it to him, Major Zwingli complains, "I just outlined for you a blueprint for total self-discipline that will take you through your entire life, and that's your only question?" AJ struggles for a moment to come up with another one, and then offers this gem: "Why do guys in the army, or like spies, use that 'O' thing when they tell time?" The Major sighs and replies, "That will be made abundantly clear to you."
Episode Report CardAaron: B | 890 USERS: B-
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