In the outer office, Tony and Carmela are waiting on a sofa. AJ and the Major emerge, and Zwingli orders a cadet who could possibly be Matt Damon's younger, uglier brother to give AJ the standard campus tour. As he escorts the parents back into his office, he tells them that he feels AJ would benefit greatly from Hudson's program. Then he pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his desk drawer while Carmela snits that she doesn't "agree with all this hard-nosed discipline." The Major calmly opens a window and replies, "The mothers seldom do," before lighting up. He sits on the windowsill and tells her to "wait until he starts opening doors for you and pulling back your chair." Now, I never went to military school, but if my dad ever caught me not doing those things, I probably would have been enrolled the next week, so I guess I see his point. Tony thinks everything sounds great, but Carmela is still worried: "What about creativity? Independent thought?" Major Zwingli tries to reassure her by offering up the Army's new slogan, which is "Be an army of one," but Carmela isn't comforted by the StTM score (1,344), and wonders, "Why be an army at all? How about a veterinarian? Isn't there enough war in the world? With the amputees, the horrible displaced people " You know, I haven't said it enough this season, but Edie Falco is a great actress, and I think her comedy chops are even better than her dramatic scenes. I've giggled every single time I've rewound past that line. The Major gives a bit more of his spiel, talking about mentoring and faculty involvement. Then he adds, "We've created too many options for our kids. We can't blame them for being confused. Then when things go wrong we fob them off on the burgeoning for-profit substance recovery industry." Cue the drag on his cigarette. Get it? Ha ha. Or, "Flick ahhhh." You choose. Now Tony has some concerns, especially about this whole "army of one" thing. "What happens when each army of one decides, fuck it, I'm not going over the top of foxhole, or decides to blow the lieutenant's head off?" The Major replies with a joke about Audie Murphy that I'm way too young to get, and the scene ends with Tony and Carmela arguing about whether or not they want to train their son for a career in the military.













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