Army Of One

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Army Of One

Back at Vesuvio, Tony watches warily as Joey Pants hams it up in front of the entire crowd. Then Janice indulges her Aprile addiction by crawling into his lap and draping herself over him. There's a weird moment where they both look at Tony to see his reaction. I'm not sure which one of them is aggravating him more, though, because just then the boys return from jail and everyone runs up to greet them. It's like they just got back from the war or something. While everyone is hugging, Junior starts singing at one of the tables, and then Carmela arrives to stand beside Tony. Ginny Sack and a couple of others encourage Junior to get up and sing for real, and finally he does. "I beat cancer," he announces, "and now I'm going to beat the can." He launches into the song, and Meadow comes over to her parents to mock him. Carmela notices her with yet another drink, and Meadow sneeringly refers to Uncle Junior as being "shit-faced" without even a hint of irony.

As Junior sings, we get a montage of all the characters. First Chris and Adriana, then Artie and Charmaine, and then, miracle of miracles, Bobby and Furio. That ought to kick the sitcom spin-off speculation into high gear. Meadow and Carmela eye each other warily over their drinks. Silvio and his wife think about how much better the song would sound if Bruce were singing it. Janice cries and realizes she'll never even be as good as Junior (although, to be fair, the guy can sing). I watch, and think that as much as I'm enjoying the quiet way they're closing the season, I still liked this scene better when it was "Brothers In Arms." Also, the first time through, I kept getting distracted by these weird brown blobs that seemed to fly across the screen without any explanation. Just as I was about to get up and check my TV set, we cut to Meadow, and learn that she's been tossing clumps of bread at Junior. Then she breaks out into a Britney Spears song, and runs out of the restaurant with Tony giving chase. Out on the sidewalk, she screams, "This is such bullshit," and then runs right out into the street. The director milks the shot for all the "will she get hit by a car or not?" suspense that he can, but then she makes it safely to the other side and disappears.

Back inside, Tony tells Carmela that she'll be all right, and then they call AJ over to join them. There's more singing, and more montages, and Adriana leans over to ask Mrs. Dante what the song means. "Ungrateful heart," she's told, and then the soundtrack cuts over to a number of different voices performing the same song, all while Junior continues to lip-synch. Everyone cries and looks sad, and we fade out for the last time on a wide shot of the whole Family, gathered together in grief.

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