Army Of One

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Army Of One

Cut to the Little Lord, walking anxiously down a housing project hallway. After passing a black woman who you just know would be sassy if they only allowed her to speak, the Little Lord and his escort arrive at a door and knock. It's opened by a young black guy, and he readily agrees to let Jackie crash in exchange for a Glock 9. Suddenly he's joined at the door by his daughter, who introduces herself as "Nina" and asks the Little Lord for his name. Based on last week's super scientific voting tabulations (and unlike certain major networks, we take our polling responsibilities quite seriously here at MBTV), she's one of the few people out there who actually cares what his name is. Instead of choosing to please the second largest contingent of his demographic by answering, "Hi. I'm Little Lord 'The Poo Ass' Fuckpants. Nice to meet you, little girl," he actually just keeps getting dumber and replies that he shouldn't say. As they head back into the apartment, their host suggests the nom de retard of "Mr. X," and LL"TPA"FP's buddy opines that Jackie will be safe there because "[his] Guido friends would never think to look" in a housing project.

Cut to the Green Grove Retirement Community. You know, where the Feds would never think to look for Tony and his Guido friends in season one? Yeah, that place. Out front, Paulie pops the trunk on his car, and -- whoa, hey, hang on a sec there, kids. Uh, where did Paulie get his car? Didn't the Russian steal it? And don't tell me it's a new one, because they show a full shot of the windows, and there's nary a sticker in sight. I actually haven't been all that bothered by the now-you-see-it-now-you-don't method of storytelling they seem to have adopted this year, mainly because they've been upfront from day one that this season was going to be about the characters rather than the plot, and I think to a large extent they've succeeded with that. Not explaining where the car came from, however, is just being lazy -- especially given what happens in the rest of the episode. I'm sorry, but it is. Anyway, to make up for it, Chase tosses us another StFIC coefficient, since I did ask to see Paulie's mother a few weeks back, and lo and behold, here she is. In fact, she's just about what you'd expect her to be, only slightly rounder. He helps her inside, where an employee takes her on the grand tour. Mamma Walnuts is delighted to discover her fellow residents singing Sammy Kahn, and after being reassured that she won't be forced to eat snails on "Parisian Night," she breaks down in tears of joy that her "son lets her live in a place like this." "Yeah, well, who's the queen?" he replies, and I can just make out the faint rumblings of a hastily prepared anvil being launched in the distance.

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