Christopher and Adriana, trying out his new Rebel Without a Cause scene. After a lingering butt shot of Adriana in hot-pant cutoffs, she starts to laugh. Christopher gets all persnickety, gives up, does a line of coke. Christopher: "You said you weren't gonna laugh!" Adriana: "I didn't laugh." Then Adriana laughs. Hee. Christopher turns on The Jeffersons; Adriana chews her gum. I'm serious. That's all that happens. Although it does contribute to my theory that they're George and Weezy. Immediate segue into Christopher once again trying, to no avail, to wheedle his way out of the scene with Thespian Natalie on the phone. Blah blah blah. I'm bored.
Tony's back at Hesh's for some more free therapy. They sit in a study of some kind, in big leather chairs, and tell simultaneous stories, not listening to each other at all. Kind of like the elderly couples in When Harry Met Sally. Tony even bickers with Hesh when Hesh's advice entails getting more sleep, which he and I both would rather be doing. Hesh says, and I quote, "Easy does it, Laddy Buck," and I open up my big medical book to "senility and dementia." Tony's all upset about losing his temper with the plaid banana, because it would have been a big mess to get hauled in, Carmela would know he was messing around again, Junior would be full of glee, his kids would get generally freaked out, et cetera. Plus he's averse to his pool all of a sudden. Interesting. You see, Melfi would know what to do with that, Tony. Hesh just says Tony has some sort of complex, and launches into a story about some German dude he used to know. Tony's eyes roll back in his head and he settles down for a long winter's nap.
In the scene, Christopher has to interact with his character's father, played by Geeky Mitch. Everyone in the scene is really bad, except Christopher. Cynthia sounds like a mammy, and another guy does the worst reaction to being shot I've ever seen. I'm surprised he didn't stick his legs up in the air to indicate death. But Christopher flabbergasts everyone with his genuine tears, and storms out sobbing. Meltdown Maccavidi. It should be noted that Thespian Natalie's reaction to his performance was "Un-freakin-believable!" Miss Parker silently vows never to say that to any of her students, along with any usage of the phrase "the bomb." 'Nuff said.
Furio is making cheese, making cheese, making cheese! (To the tune of "Mary Had A Little Lamb." So I'm amusing myself, okay? Sue me.) Ick, he's making cheese and smoking. I mean, smoke 'em if you got 'em, but not around my cheese, please. Charmaine agrees with me and plunks down an ashtray in front of Furio, requesting he watch his ashes, please. Except she doesn't say it nicely. Furio goes out to the dining room and joins Paulie and Pussy. Big Pussy acts like a big pussy and mispronounces Furio's name "Foodio" on purpose, and then makes a crack about him stomping the grapes for the wine himself -- I guess to imply that he's a peasant. Whatever. Paulie gives Pussy a disapproving look, and Johnny Sack, the New York head honcho, appears.