Shot of a television set, our favorite household item! News footage of Junior being escorted from the Federal Courthouse in Newark. Disembodied Anchorwoman Voice tells us about Uncle Jun's recent medical furlough from jail, where he was awaiting trial. Disembodied Anchorwoman says Tony remains the de facto boss of the New Jersey mob. There's something creepy about Disembodied Anchorwoman. Maybe because she's disembodied. That can't be comfortable. Tony watches the broadcast in one of his lovely sweatsuits, his protuberant belly spilling out from his pants, as he dips unidentified meat (let's hope it's at least a nice capicolla) into a family-size jar of mayonnaise and eats with his mouth open. God, he's sexy. I want to lick that mayo right off his face. Not. The television drones on, showing FBI surveillance photos of Tony and Pussy and reporting that Tony was the target of a botched murder attempt last year. Indeed. That's what mothers and uncles are for. Tony swears (did I just feel the need to write that? Duh.) and screams, "How come every piss I take is a fuckin' news story?!" Alas, Liliana, the maid, is the only soul to be found, and she ignores him. Tony grunts accordingly.
Cut to Lou Costello Memorial. Hee. We used to call a friend of mine in high school "Lou" Costello. I have no idea why. Teenagers are weird. Tony meets Paulie at said memorial, pulling up in what I like to call his "substitute"-mobile. And I don't mean teaching. Wink. I mean he's compensating for something. Wink. Something that needs to be bigger. Get it, get it? I knew that you would. Tony looks chubby in red silk, Paulie ever-so-stylin' in a blue and white tracksuit. Can't get enough of those gold chains and Aqua Velva. Paulie blathers about having coffee, railroads, cutting rails, sweet, whaaat? Doesn't matter. Tony orders him to pick up Furio at the airport. Paulie joke-guesses that he's coming to see the indoor plumbing. Hee. Yuck, but hee. Tony admits that he's making some changes, because he could "do a dime" for jaywalking these days. Paulie gets all adamant and paranoid, thinking he did something wrong. Tony plays into it, tricking him into thinking he's pissed over a box of his Mallomars that Paulie ate. Hee. Make Paulie squirm. Just kidding, Paulie, and Tony informs him of the new hierarchy: Tony, Paulie, and Silvio; then Christopher, Pussy, and Furio. Hugs and kisses as stone Lou Costello looks on.