Christopher gets a new scene from Thespian Natalie after whining that he's not a gentleman caller, and she gives him remedial acting advice. His next assignment: Rebel Without a Cause. She doesn't want a James Dean impression. Thespians everywhere cringe after seeing what he did to Joe Pesci.

Ducks. For a minute I think the infamous pool ducks from the first season are back with a vengeance. Then I hear the voice of the Russian goomah, Irina, crooning something to the ducks about peaches. Oh, poor creatures, the closed captioning tells me. However, the closed captioning can't always be trusted. It spelled mozzarella "moozadell" earlier. Anyway, Tony and Irina are on the boat. Tony yells at her for feeding them cheese doodles, offering her his wisdom on what ducks eat, since he had that aforementioned family of mallards in his pool and now he's an ornithologist. She calls him names in Russian; he calls her names in Russian. Next door, a Russian man in an outfit you might dress up in for Halloween if you went as a plaid banana shouts to Irina that that's what she gets for dating an American. She snips back that if she wanted a factory worker she would have stayed in Kazakhstan. Zing. Except instead of that, she's a Mafia mistress. That's much better. Tony overhears, demands to know what was said, and promptly attacks the plaid banana by grabbing him by the testicles. Eep and ouch. Tony asks him if he's got a problem besides his pants. Hee. Nice one. Tony continues to tell him to mind his own business, and the plaid banana's wife or mistress (who looks like Cheri Oteri as Tammy Faye Bakker) looks on in astonishment, but doesn't even put down her beer. She shrieks that she'll call the police over and over. Tony realizes he has to hightail it out of there quick as he sees the plaid banana waddling up the dock to shore, because the cops are looking to bust him for anything. Inside the boat, Irina has flotation devices on her arms and is fixing her make-up. That's not important, but it was a funny image to me. Packing, shoving Irina, clomping away in a big hurry.