Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 1 USERS: B+

Tony bitches to Melfi that they send guys to jail for doing "half the damage" Hauser has. Melfi reassures him that "the judicial system has gotten much better in dealing with sexual predators." "Oh, yeah. Let's impeach him!" Tony sneers. Melfi warns him in a near-shout that if he's telling her "of intent to harm this person," she has to alert law enforcement. "I don't know why I tell you anything," Tony snits. Melfi asks why he feels that the job of punishing Hauser falls to him. Tony says sarcastically that it certainly doesn't fall to her. She asks what that means, and he goes off on a rant about how she'd call the cops, who'd send Hauser in front of a judge, who'd sentence Hauser to counseling, and Hauser would complain about his unhappy childhood, and then everyone would sympathize with Hauser, blah dee blah. Melfi coldly tells him to disparage psychology if he likes, "but I continue to ask the question: why do you think you, Anthony Soprano, always has [sic] to set things right?" Tony doesn't have an answer to that.

Bada Bing. Tony and Christopher count money; Paulie answers the door to the back, and Artie pokes his head in and says he has to talk to Tony. "I'm kinda busy right now." Artie insists. Tony tells Christopher that they'll finish later, and Christopher scoops up the cash and leaves. Artie says that he came talk "about the Nothin's happened yet, has it?" "Just gotta make the call," Tony says, adding, "I'm savorin' the moment." "You gotta call it off," Artie says, with much waving of hands. Tony tells him not to worry, he's got nothing to do with it, but Artie slaps his palm with the back of his hand and squawks, "I don't care about that! It's wrong! You can't do it." Tony stares at him quizzically: "'It's wrong'? Oh, and what he did isn't?" Artie knows, and he hates Hauser too, but he's begging Tony not to do it.

Tony starts to get impatient, asking what Artie wants him to do and inviting him to call the cops himself, "here's the phone," but Hauser will only get two years, and then he'll move to Saskatchewan (shout-out?), "and then you know what he'll do? He'll teach girls' soccer, and he'll start all over again." Artie says he wants to rip Hauser apart "like a fuckin' chicken," and he drove past Hauser's house and nearly got out of the car. "But you didn't," Tony says gently, not seeing the point. Artie asks who it's going to help if "something happens to" Hauser: "His daughter? That girl? No. You, Tony, and Silvio, and me, and whoever. It's just gonna make us feel better. So don't even think about callin' this justice. Leave it to the cops." Tony muscles his way out of his chair and asks who the fuck Artie thinks he is to come in there and talk to Tony like that: "Your boyfriend is finished, now you deal with it. 'Kay?" He pokes his finger into Artie's chest for emphasis. "Tony, don't do it," Artie repeats softly. "This is me asking you." Tony orders him to get the fuck out, and he shoves him out the door. Artie goes, but not without a small scuffle. Tony slams the door after him. Techno music starts up as Tony sits back down and shoves his espresso cup off the table in a fit of pique.

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