Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 1 USERS: B+

Cut to one of the girls at Bada Bing, doing a pole dance. Tony brings a bottle of vodka over to a corner of the bar, where Artie and Silvio have settled in to bore the coach to death with strategic suggestions; Silvio tells the coach that "everything is on the house." Tony waves over one of the girls to meet the coach. Artie reminds the group that the coach has had a job offer at the college level, "Division 1A." The coach makes self-deprecating noises and says that he doesn't want to move his wife and Deena (his daughter, I guess) "every time somebody ups the ante," and besides, "how many chances does a man get to coach his own daughter," blah blah blah. A girl comes up behind Tony, and the men toast to the soccer team, and Tony puts his arm around the girl and asks her to give the coach a "deluxe tour of the VIP lounge." The coach adopts a deer-in-headlights mien; Artie says, "Whoa, guys. Jesus, we said 'a beer.'" The girl comes over to nuzzle the coach, who looks uncomfortable and tries to extricate himself: "Thank you, but I don't think so." Tony looks over at the door to see Makazian entering and mutters, "Aw, Jesus Christ," and the girl walks off, but Silvio tries to convince him with, "Coach -- it's on the house."

Tony clomps over to Makazian and demands to know what the fuck he's doing there. Makazian just as rudely asks about the coach, "Who's he?" Tony more or less ignores this and asks if Makazian has something for him, so Makazian tells Tony that not everyone he sees following him "is a Fed"; Mikey Palmice hired a Manhattan private investigator to tail Tony. Tony snorts that Mikey thinks "somebody here's rattin' for the government -- what else is new?" Makazian hands Tony a list of "people whose financial interests intersect with your own," which he got from a friend of his at the Organized Crime Task Force. Tony eyes the list and presses his lips together; Silvio comes up behind him as Makazian takes the list back and says he's still trying to find out if Tony's name has made any lists, but stresses that "they are keeping these indictments very very internal, Tony." He's trying to get more money out of Tony, but Tony isn't biting. Makazian then makes a big show out of having to see Bada Bing's liquor license just in case anyone wonders why he came in there, "for the lie-detector test," and Silvio singsongs at the bartender to show Makazian the liquor license. The bar phone rings; it's Charmaine, calling to screech at Artie. Artie lies that he's shooting pool. Next to the phone, Tony puts his arms around the girl from before and says, "Yeah, I'll rack 'em up for ya." Charmaine henpecks Artie into coming home and helping her paint the trim on the patio, and after he hangs up, Tony and Silvio give Artie shit for not laying down the law with the wife. The coach quasi-regretfully says he has to get home too, but tells the boys in a corn-pone tone of voice that "it's quite the lifestyle you have here, though."

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