Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 1 USERS: B+

Meadow and her friends sit in a circle in the woods next to a playground, drinking forties and giggling. Meadow tells Deena that she didn't think much of soccer at first, but that Deena's dad makes it seem "like this, I don't know, metaphor." Deena agrees that "Dad's really cool." Another girl asks, "You guys, where's Al? She was supposed to loan me a cig." She gets up to find Ally; Meadow says she'll "come with," and the two of them walk past a swing-set, calling for Ally. "Al -- if you're smoking, you owe me five dollars!" Meadow shouts. They stop walking. "Ally?" Ally is sitting on a bench swing, her bag beside her. The other girls start screaming, "Ally, what are you doing, oh my God!" Ally has a blade to her wrist, and she's cutting herself and crying angrily. The screaming of the other two fades off the soundtrack and leaves just the creaking of the swing and Ally's quiet sobs.

Melfi's office. Tony explains, "Her parents split up. That's why she spends all her time at our house." He goes on, in a more dismissive tone, "But the kid was born with a silver spoon." Melfi, who has a new shorter haircut and a brown patterned blouse on that screams "schoolmarm," says quickly that "teenage girls are under a lot of stress." Tony doesn't buy that: "Naw, I know this kid -- she's great." Melfi asks, "Was it a genuine suicide attempt?" Tony doesn't understand; Melfi gives the PSA on "small cutting," saying that "it's a cry for help." Tony thinks that over, then says that, according to Ally's mother, Ally has "tried this before." Melfi lets it sit, then asks what else is going on in his life. Tony bites out that "life is putting Prozac to the test." Melfi assumes that he means the things she's heard on the news; Tony shoots her a flat stare and says he'd rather talk about his daughter. Melfi returns the flat stare, so Tony starts in on a diatribe about how the principal says that girls in sports "do better" and don't take drugs or "get knocked up -- but now this shit." In a teary voice: "If my daughter ever tried to kill herself..." Overcome, he trails off, then flops back in his chair to keep the tears from leaking down his face. "Aw, God." Melfi folds her arms expectantly. Tony sneaks a glance her before admitting, "Last week I called you a whore. I might have been...overstatin' the case a little bit." Melfi doesn't respond.

Junior pinches the ass of a TJ-Maxx-wearing broad as she bends over a file cabinet. She says "ooooh" all Jessica Rabbit, stands up, and hands him a check to sign. More breathy single entendres involving ceramic joint fitting and going to Boca Raton. "You read my mind," "I'm all packed, baby," blah blah blah trampcakes. A fat guy materializes to hassle/bribe Junior about a mall job in North Bergen, and Junior, all benevolent since he knows he's going to get laid, says he'll see what he can do.

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