Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 1 USERS: B+

A beauty salon. Roberta raves about the weather in Boca; her pedicurist comes over, shaking a bottle of polish, and tells her, "Bobbi, you are so lucky with this guy, you have no idea." "He's a sweetheart underneath it all," Roberta says. The pedicurist says she wishes she could get her husband "to be like [Junior] -- more sensitive," and crabs that she always has to ask him for oral sex, "not like you and your Corrado." Oops. Now departing bag: one cat. Roberta leans forward and says that she knows she and the pedicurist "always used to yak about our sex lives -- but I think it would be better if we didn't anymore." The pedicurist says she understands, but "you're lucky, that's all." Roberta puts her hand to her lips and makes a locking-and-throwing-away-key motion. The pedicurist nods and makes a zipping-lips motion back to Roberta.

Casa Soprano, dinner table. Carmela asks Livia if she's going to Meadow's soccer game. "What game?" They tell her about the game. She complains that nobody tells her anything. Yadda. Meadow wants to talk about something else besides soccer, so Tony rolls his eyes and obliges her by asking Junior, "How was Boca?" "Wonderful! I don't go down enough," Junior smiles. "That's not what I heard," Carmela snickers. "About what?" Junior asks her, oblivious. "Nothing -- I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm talkin' about," Carmela chokes out, trying to compose herself. AJ says something about "Aunt Bobbi" bringing him a piranha, and Tony says that it isn't a real piranha, and Livia wails, "That woman is not your aunt!" Junior tells her to shut up: "Bobbi's a sweet, sweet girl." Carmela bursts into giggles. Tony asks what's up, and Junior wants to know, "What'd I say? This wife of yours, she's got the giggles." Meadow brats, "Can I be excused?" Her parents get on her back about eating enough before the game the next day, and she says she doesn't need to eat "because I quit." Tony doesn't know what she's talking about -- with Ally playing again, they could go to the state championships. "A girl slits her wrists, and all you can think about is a game?" Carmela snaps. "Well, it wasn't like friggin' Cobain, it was a little -- suicidal gesture, that's all," Tony snorts, making sawing motions above his wrists. Meadow pushes back from the table and runs to her room. Carmela and Tony yell at her to come back, but she ignores them, so Carmela goes after her. Livia grunts, "Oh, let her go -- go ahead, honey!" Heh. Tony tells her to butt out, and points out that the only time she acts like a grandmother "is when you wanna score some points!" Livia slaps down her napkin and says that she won't stay "in this house," and asks Junior to take her home. "I'm not finished," he grunts. Livia stomps off, and Tony tells Junior to keep eating, "she'll come back." Junior rolls his eyes and takes another bite of antipasto.

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