Sopranos
Bust Out

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Guns, bottled water, and camping supplies

We open with mugshots of Tony. The cops are asking a civilian if he's absolutely sure that he is identifying Tony. We will call this guy... uh...

Okay, listen. Here's the thing. These horrible terrorist attacks have changed every single thing about my life and I hate it. I hate that it changes the way I look at things, the way I live my life, and the way I do my job. I hate that I can't even make jokes in recaps the same way I used to. I hate that I can't call this guy Citizen DeadMan, because that's what he really, truly is, and if I was writing this recap last month, or last year when it originally aired, I would have called him Citizen DeadMan without batting an eye. And if we're all supposed to get through this by getting back to normal, I'm going to try to make the same jokes (although I'll admit the jokes are light in a show as good as The Sopranos) and the three of you that actually read the recaps of the second season will just have to go along with me, okay? I think it's important, and we'll get a better recap out of it. I mean, this show is about murderers, isn't it? Citizen DeadMan, it is, then. Thanks for letting me rant.

Citizen DeadMan says that he's sure that one of the guys was Tony, but that he didn't get a good look at the other man because of the glare on his windshield. He describes him as "heavy-set," though. He says when he first heard the gunshots he thought he was hearing kids with fireworks, but when he saw the two men drive off, he hid in some ragweed and started to understand what was going on. He says he didn't even finish changing his tire, he just walked over to a phone booth and called the cops. Isn't he beautiful? Also, have my assistant order this guy a cell phone so he can join the rest of us in the '00s. He says he'd hate himself if he didn't come forward and help them put "these people behind bars." He asks who the kid was that got killed. The cops solemnly say that the kid got mixed up with some bad people. "Crack?" Citizen DeadMan asks, all deadpan and perfect, like he's so white-collar and pampered that the worst thing he could think of was crack. It's quite funny, and what's funnier is the solemn agreement the cops give him so he doesn't know he's just fingered a Mob boss as a murderer. Citizen DeadMan hands back the book of photographs and just walks off. It's strange, but it's so he's out of our way as the camera pans down to some incredibly graphic shots of Bevelaqua's body with a jillion bullet holes in it. Yikes. One in the neck. I had a nightmare about getting shot in the neck when I was six, and I still get the creeps whenever I think of puncture wounds there. Moving on.

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Sopranos

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